Friday, January 30, 2009

mengarut lagik :]

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afta i said that i wanted to sleep, i changed my mind.. kite g bukak buku.. pastu moments later, i decided nak tido jap ar.. dah syok dah tarik comforter nak titon.. sekali phone bunyik.. i picked it up sambil mengeliat.. then the person said "awak baru nk bangun ke nk tido??".. niat nk jawab baru nk tido..tp sbb dah terbantut, i just said, tak saje ngeliat..

gelap je kat luar.. nak hujan.. i dun really lyk raining day. mood kita teros brubah.. most people love raining day.. they say, tarik selimut syok neh~!!.. but im totally the other way around.. rain makes me feel uneasy..mcm wat seme benda pon tak kena..

wen i was a kid, i used to sing this song..

"rain rain go away
plz come back another day
lyne wants to play
rain rain go away"

to my surprise, it didnt work.. maken lebat ada arr..ahahahah :))

kesangapan ku kian menggunung. i tried to read my global book.. i closed the book each tym i finished one paragraph.. gile sangap buku tu.. a week holiday, i managed to khatam half chapter jer. azab betul la cemneh~ i want to continue to read my inkspell, but i noe, i wudnt stop once if i start..kalau tak stop, keja2 sume tak jln..cam tak mkn, tak mandi, tak nak kuar bilik, tak tido.. tebal lagi baru abes..another 700pages..


oh btw, am i addicted to this blogging thingy?? i noe im addicted to read ppl's blog.. but typing here?? rasa mcm tak.. but tgk my collection, cam belambak gile.. bile baca balik, sumpah sume crap gile.. with all those grammar and spelling mistakes.. nk edit, mmg tak dpt la.. i guess i never check before i post it or maybe my brain works faster than i type.. dlm otak da mcm2 nk ckp, tapi tgn lembap yg amat..


til then, bubbye people.. happy weekend and happy wilayah day~!!


me

Thursday, January 29, 2009

kerinduan melampau~

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Owh..~!! Sahabat, kalau lah kaw boleh baca minda ku ini mesti kaw teruja and mesti kaw pun rasa apa kau rasa. Sudah hamper 6 purnama kita tidak ketemu. Bagaimana kah keadaan kaw sekarang?? Maken membulatkah (aku sgt harap begitu, bia aku lagi slim dari kaw~!!) ?? Maken ayu kah (conirm tidak) ?? Saban hari aku menunggu khabar mu dr kawasan tanam sawah tu,tapi kaw sombong.. mmg aku nak merajuk ngan kaw tapi belum ada kesempatan. Ingat kah kaw dizaman2 kita maseh ke"anak2kan".. Di zaman sumenye indah & kalau ada masalah pun, kite wat tongong je.. Ku rindu zaman itu..

Daku maseh ingat lagi, di kamsis satria aras satu..setiap pagi jam 6.50am, aku suke menggunakan katil mu sbgi tmpt aku beratur untuk mandi (sape suh bilik kaw sebelah toilet..hahaha). Ku tinggalkan baldi and barang2ku di toilet & ku sambung tido di katilmu.. Kaw tak kenal aku & aku tak kenal kaw. Tapi aku pedulik apa.. Nak tido gak~!!. Dgn cara itu lah aku mengenali kamoo, padahal kita sekelas..(sapa suh kaw bisu?? salah kaw lagi neh..).. Kelakar sungguh sem tersebut.. Ceria saja ku melompat2 bile smpi giliranku nak mandi.. Tanpa mengemas semula katilmu & tanpa mengucap terima kaseh, ku terus je cabuttzz tanpa rasa besalah.. ahahhahaha (gelak monster~!!)

Kemudian, kita semaken akrab. Kaw la sumber makanan TAK BERKHASIATKU and kaw la juga sumber komik ku.. Kaw rajen beli komik, aku rajen beli top up and cotton candy.. (oowhh.. tetibe teringen plak nak cotton candy color baby blue..mana nak carik neh??) Sama-sama kita jalan kaki ke giant.. sama-sama kita jalan kaki ke food court..ngabiskan masa kat kedai kak faridah and duit puan aziam..(eh eh tu aku je..heheh..trimas puan..tak sangka puan skang neh UiTM mate saya..kite serupa..).. La skang, aku rindu MILO AIS kak faridah plak.. Ya Allah tak ku sangka minah thai tu wat air lagi sedap dr mamak rafiy..

Zaman dunia ILHAM lagi ku rindu.. setiap tgh hari, kita sama2 mentaka darah kat restoran ami.. sambil mkn smbil kite ngutuk SYA yang konon nya KEGEMARAN sume lelaki.. (adoiyaii..elly aku lagi slim dr die laa..) Tak da lauk kat situ, kite serbu nasi lemak panas plak.. Di kedua2 restoran itu lah kaw and bdk2 membahan aku..mmg sampai bile pon takkan ku lupekan..hehe.. Kendian, ptg2 hari kite menyibukkan diri beratur beli nasi lemak kukus ayam goreng & air kelapa kat gate belakang ILHAM.. Nasi yang panas serta minuman yang sejuk babeng tu mmg pembuka selera.. Lepas magrib, kite turun lagi ke seberang jalan.. Beli burger RAMLY yg sungguh kya ngan balck pepper saucenya.. (uwaaaa.. lapa neh~!!).. Tapi our food journey didnt stop there.. Genap jarum panjang di angka 12 and jarum pendek di angka 1, kaw, aku & nad mulakan pejalanan ke Shubhani plak.. owhhh..tosei + naan cheese yg sungguh lazat :)).. Sambil mkn, kite lah penonton perempuan nengok bola.. Kalaw tak bola, WWF la cite faberet kite.. sungguh rindu zaman itu.. Skang, bola aku jarang tgk.WWF lagi ar tak dek trus..

Sem 6 pon tak kurang syoknya.. Walaupon aku & nad bukan lagi warga ILHAM..namun, kita maseh akrab.. Setiap pagi ku mengangkutmu ke kelas, naiki Washer machine ku..(owhh gile laju kenderaan tersebut~!!).. Maseh lagi mkn di ami & maseh lagi ngutuk si dia.. Cemana ek lagu ruffedge yg nad sll nyanyi bile ngutuk die tuh?? aku tak ingat ar plak..damn~.. (GEGAR.. GEGAR...lalalal~)..

Tamat je sem 6, kita sumer menanges.. Pada mulanya aku amat syok nk abes, supaya tamatlah penderitaan aku.. tapi bila sedar hakikat yg aku akan hilang kaw, hati aku jd sangat sayup.. Kalaw baca post ni, aku harap kaw sedar yang aku sangat rindu kaw.. and also, baru aku sedar aku tak da gambar dgn kaw..so tak bley letak kat page aku neh.. Hampeh~!!.. sungguh rindu aku pada kaw.. HAWA d BAWA d SOUR d GULE MELAKE kuh~!! datang ar melawat aku plak~!!

p/s: hawa sayang, thanks for reading.. & i never tot that u wud cry. i guess, we all miss our SWEET 21 moments.. wish we cud turn back tym or at least redo it.. i love u hawa :)


me

Sunday, January 25, 2009

*sigh*

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last nite i had a long conversation with my so called friend. at first, we were connected through another person back in 2007. we became friends at friendster. but we never met or communicated. because i dun see the reason why. then last year she added me at her myspace. months later we started to communicate. i knew who she was from the beginning. and i tot she knew me too.. but when she was sooo nice, i questioned myself.."minah neh tawu tak aku sapa??".. so i asked her.. she replied "hah??".. so ignored je la..then she replied again "duuhhh..i know..and i think theres sumthing fishy".. i said,"no lah..apasal pulak".. then she ym me..that was how the long conversation started..


all i can say is, GOD is super duper almighty. honey, u gotta be strong. whateva happened between us back then was soooo in the past. i dun and neva hold any grudge towards u. im glad u showed up as because of u, i got a betta life. but ur stories mmg wat i geram gile kat die on ur behalf. i neva tot that MNHS wud act such a way. sungguh differ 4 years ago and now. i cant advice u abt this matter and clearly i really dun want to get myself involved. as i told u last nyt, im not in the position to tell u about anything. i hv told u what i know and it didnt help because MNHS changed alot~!! since u r close wif blur now, u shud take his advice. 2 years ago, i took his and ag's words and it was worth it. u can talk to me but dun expect me to give any suggestion or opinion.. so, take care dear.. insya ALLAH things will be fine..


p/s: u r so gila la wei~!!
p/s: to junaidah ahmad tbrani (june), happy 23rd birthday to u~!!



-♥me-

Sunday, January 18, 2009

i wish...

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*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

i wish i noe how to fix things
i wish i noe how to express myself
i wish i noe how to put feelings into words
i wish i noe how to tell the world how i feel
i wish i noe how to turn down ppl
i wish i can handle things rite
i wish i can see what others can
i wish i can do what ppl tell me to do
i wish i can let the world noes that im halfway crazy
i wish i can rule myself
i wish i can escape from the pain
i wish i can escape from the misery
i wish i can be myself
i wish i can kick those unwanted ppl
i wish i can be on my own
i wish i can hv my confidence back
i wish im not SOOO nice anymore
i wish... im not here because i cant stand anything anymore

sincerely, honestly, truthfully, faithfully
-me-

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Luff Luff kuh~

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:: si jantung hati kuh~ ::



a week young..my masham aqil..geget ang~!! ayeen loves u much much~!!

p/s: look at his shirt.. DO NOT DISTURB~ :)

♥ me

Monday, January 12, 2009

new babies~

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*sigh*..
alhamdulillah.. last saturday, i got a new born nephew..
10.01.2009 (14Muharram)..
given name is Muhammad Aqil Muhammad Faizal..
he was born around 8++pm at SJMC..
weighted 3.52kg :)
welcum to the world hunny..
both of ur parents are so happy to hv u in their lives..
and me?? ayeen will love u equally lyk the rest~!!
enjoy staying in my room for the next two months owkey :)
and im gonna spoil u..agagaga :))

next, another new niece.
today (12.01.2009) 6.45pm at penang (not sure wic hospital)
given name is Aisya Alisa Shahrazie Zainal
her papa said, this gurl carries the look of CHE NOI"s.. [adoiyaiii]
so, adam haziq..plz do take care of ur lil sis aite..
wan jue sure excited gile..finally a gurl in d family..
yippeeee~!!
cepat2 ar balik seremban/senawang.
ajie, kite tak leh bagi wit raye agi since im still a student..
agagagaga~!! [selamat beta ;)]

lots of loves to both of u..
and welcome to the world~!!
*muwahhhhxxx*

p/s: i wont upload his pic :)

♥ ur beloved ayeen~!!
xoxo

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

pain & sakit.. adoyai~!!

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today is a horrible day for me. why must it has to be that way?? and why me of all people?? choyy~!! when today s suppose to be a great for me, it turned out to be totally the opposite way. maybe im exergerating it but ntah lah.. i noe its wrong for me to complain about what im feeling and currently going thru.. but, the pain is just too much for me to bear. i spent 1/2 an hour in my car this morning at my fac car park, cried and prayed. i couldnt move and couldnt breath.. at that tym i told myself, whether i lyk it or not OR whether i can or cant, i must force myself to get out from d car. u must atend ur classes no matter what.. 12days dealing wif the pain..i think its long enuff..

a person told me.."stop being a hero..ppl need to know"..i did tell d ppl i suppose to tell..but nothing changed..plus i dun really lyk to tell details abt me.. and i dun wanna be a burden to my family or anyone else.. also im not that strong enuff to hear bad news from doctors.. i cud still remember the oxygen tank and that blue liquid i had to suck every 2hrs.. then years later, i got another news.. bijak pandai, i sought for 2nd opinion..oh well, no surprise.. 3rd opinion..i said "damn" out loud.. but im lucky that im still consider at the safe zone.. drink plenty of water, ill be fine~!! tapi the takowt is still there.. wont deny it at all..

the pain doesnt stop there.. im emotionally hurt as well.. the harder u try, the more ull be hurt..kenapa agaknya?? im not trying to be perfect or ultra woman, just wanna reach the level of ppl's expectation.. i dun wanna be the ugly duckling and the punching bag for my entire life.. take the blame for no reasons and feel guilty all the time.. im done with those ok.

i know days ago i hv listed down my resolutions.. but 2 hours ago, i decided to add few more (hehe)
:: stop being a burden to anyone ::
:: stop being the punching bag ::
:: i need 0.02 more to graduate as first class honor (its a must.so that ppl wont say im stupid anymore~!!)::
:: get that application form (or maybe i wanna continue my ADLM)..hurmmm ::
:: be his for forever .. respect him, loyal to him, support him, him unconditionally ::

p/s: to my dear sista.. happy anniversary.. i seriously tot that yeterday i wud receive call from abg faizal..but nothing~!! adoiii~!! MUHAMMAD DOE..cepatlah~!!
p/s: sayang.. happy anniversary to you. i cudnt be happier. having u in my life is such a blessed. i u with all my heart and soul.

♥ me

Sunday, January 4, 2009

tidurlah kamoo wahai lyne~!

2 comments
its almost midnite now and im still awake.. i know that i shud be in bed by now as tomorrow wud be MY first day of class [afta ponteng for a week].. bunyi cam kekanak kan kena tido awal.. oh well i have to because it has been a month me duk makan tidur kat rumah.. i truly enjoy doing my routine~ oh god..im sure gonna miss my subuh-subuh tv routine.. i wont have tym for TV anymore. ppl can take away my laptop and internet but not my TV and remotes.. :(

last nite, my parents finally reached home..syok ye bejalan~!!.. lucky i got ppl to accompany me while both of u were gone.. thanx for the pizza & fettucini.. mumy takda baru i got d chance to eat italian ok.. & not to forget im still craving for roti canai & kuah dhal [so to this person hu promised me to take me out for roti canai plz do ok..jgn luper2..u noe id get cranky & grumpy nnt..hahaha]

yesterday, i went out wif my darling & her hubby. from what i can conclude is, id say she is HAPPPPYYY..[hehehe no offence shayang].. penat segala usaha aku selama neh cik kak ooi~!! went to midvalley..had my fettucini..puas hati~!! sbb sedap & free [d day before, i prepared myself fettucini..it tasted damn plain..wat sambil tgk dvd kan..padan muka aku..]

nampak cam sikit kan, semenarnya tak..i ate half of it only..the plate is damn huge.. CARBONARA FETTUCINI with TURKEY HAM..ianya sungguh heaven :).. trimas chegu for the meal~!!

afta lunch, we went to GSC..terpengaruh ngan hanato..we watched d same movie she did..hehe..cite itu sungguh seronok~!! im lucky that our families are normal & im lucky that i noe his REAL name :) also im lucky that i neva had KUTU..ahaha.. :)

i seriously need to force myself to sleep now..~!!
before that...my checklist..
checklist:pencil case .... (checked)
ID card ....(checked)
glasses .... (checked)
timetable .... (checked)
cash .... (checked)
fuel .... (checked)
smart tag & TnG .... (checked)
cloths [iron] .... (checked)

going to bed now..~

gudnite readers.

p/s: g renew lesen larrr..dah mampos berapa hari dah neh~!!
p/s: d song reminds me of sumthing, sumone & sumwer..funny story..agaga~

♥ me

Thursday, January 1, 2009

first day of 2009~

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we have entered the 2009 for 18++hrs now. and as far as im concerned everything is still the same. home alone as usual. i havent eat since last monday. i think i shud get sumthing to eat but im not hungry at all..[teruk rupenya sakit kali neh]..hhhmmm...after 6days being terlantar and terduduk berkurung dlm bilik, today i managed to walk around the house. the pain im feeling is slowly gone..i have skipped my classes for 2 days now. teruk betul.. this is not the first tym im experiencing this.. twice a year at least..huishhhh...and yes, i neva go to d clinic..my sis n i are kindda anti clinic, drugs & doctor..[yup she does aldoh she is one of them & she prescribe d drugs..pelikkan :)]

hhhmmmm...i guess the celebration last nite was kindda great and happening..i just assumed it was, based on the dentuman i heard last nite.. i went to bed ryt afta magrib and woke up becoz of the fire work.. buruk la perangai kalau tak dgr bunyi bunga api since OU is just across the street..tido mampos betul aku kalau cemtuh.. brenti je bunga api, i went to bed again and woke up the next day.. all my frens went out last nite and they had great tym.. and the kajang ppl went to genting again..3 years in a row..korng tak buhsan ker?? another clan went to uphoria [did i get the spelling ryte??]..da yg pegi laundry (curve) juga.. lantak kome lar..

earlier today i chatted wif finie.. she is still in perak..and her husband s still in sabah.. dah minta transfer but still tak da rezeki lagi kowt.. anyways, she told me that shes pregnant~!! yeay yeay~!! hope the baby will be fair and cute lyk her :).. congrates darling~!! so mesti afta this u wont drive up to kl lagi kan..kesian la me & nad..we'll miss u~!!

yesterday i had a long conversation wif my bestest fren. she told me lots of things.. damn, hu said mariage is easy~!! not that she s having problem wif her husband or what so ever.. it was more about the duties & responsibilities larr.. hahaha... mampos gwe~!! cemana ye nnt kalau kite yg nak kahwen??.. to d future groom and husband to be, kamoo diminta bersabar yer~!! i need to find the manual first..hehehe...

pe lagi yg perlu dikarutkan yer.. my sis is counting days..jeng jeng jeng.. for d past 2 months, i have been bodekking her to know her unborn son's name.. she said.."sshhhh..itu rasie~!!".. so i named him JOHN DOE.. then my bro in law said.."melayu & islam lar..so it shud be MUHAMMAD DOE lar~!!"..

well, thats all for now.. til then~!!

p/s: to SSN..happy birthday to you~!! cepat2 la kawen ngan e'ez sbb korg dah bejaya abis belaja~!!
p/s: adik, tq for being normal once again.. i hope every thing is cleared and settled.. i can see how happy he is now..having u again in his life :) and for that i love u even more~!!

♥ me

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