Not again......

Saturday, January 30, 2010

When we entered 2010, i promised myself not to look back and ponder into any of the history again. So i started fresh and hoping others would do the same too. But, i guess i am the only one who hoped for things to happen that way.. Aku je beriya2 la ngan azam baru tu. As*h**e.. Bodoh!!

Something would never change and the only way for things to stop (as in i can stop feeling hurt) is only if i walk away.. Thats the only solution.. Because no matter how hard i try to behave nicely, ppl would still perceive me the other way around. Thou whatever happened was not my fault AT ALL. I repeat.. AT ALL!!

People cant and wont put the blame on the person at fault because the person at fault is family where else i am just an outsider.. F**k!! Big time!! So yeah!! One day i might walk away from everyone. I am tired to get all the blames when i did nothing.. And i am tired waiting for the person at fault to come clean and explain the truth.. Kau takowt ker nak ngaku salah?? And the only thing the person at fault said to me was, *Sabar sikit ok.. Nanti2 elok lah tu!!* Pale hotak dia la.. I have been VERY patient since last July.. Berapa lama nak aku sabar?? As*h**e betul!!

The environment just love to ruin my life and mood kan.. Why ppl love to take advantage over me?? Sebab aku suka diam je ker? Sebab aku tak maen balas ker?? Kang aku balas, teruk kau nanti.. The only thing i want to say here is, stop telling me to be patient and stop telling me to think before i act.. Because apparently, nobody think first before they act.. Because if they do, i wont be so bloody pissed off now..

Get out from my life... ENTIRELY!!!

I am sorry for the languages.

Hish... Geram nih!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

I have been asked by the bosses of mine to guide and teach one of my colleagues to do my daily tasks as starting from february, i have to start my field work. But, they do not let me to come clean to her.. I cant tell her that she will be working under me.. Means she will have to change her department la... Sooooonnnnn!

Since last monday, i sorta tarik2 dia to seat near me.. And tell her what have i been up to.. Also told her what she has to do next tuesday.. But she replied this to me, "Apasal kita kena belaja semua ni?? Apasal kita nak buat keja2 awak?? Tak nak la. Kita tak dibayar gaji untuk buat keja awak".. (She does not know that she will be promoted... If only she knows~)

Haih... She said those almost everyday.. Mula2 mmg sabar la.. But after 5days, ku naek berang :p.. So i said this to her.. "They do not pay me to pick up calls and to clear out all incoming faxes and mails.. But i do those things wihtout questions asked. Buat je la.. No harm.."... I hate when i cant tell her straight and direct. Bagi taw detail and jelas2 kan senang.. Tak de la aku sakit hati.. And the bosses kept on asking me this everyday.."Have u teached her?? What have u tought her today??" Ishk.. tangan karang.. Sabaw2 boleh dok?? Slow2 ni.. :p


Woot Woot!!~

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A person told me a news.. It was more like a secret. A very HUGE one. And he told me not to tell anyone especially people from the same circle. When the time comes, he will break the news himself. Oooo.. I tell you, the secret been told to me was so freaking hebat!! It will change everything in a split second. And it will be a bad news for certain people and one superb news to other group of people.

And me?? I see both groups everyday. And i have to pretend like i know nothing.. I have to pretend like nothing will happen. Sangat tertekan u know. Like hell!! I talked to my bestie.. She asked me to stay calm and relax.. *Cover2 sikit makcik.. Takot nanti depa attack kaw*.. When the thing takes place, another big drama i have to act. Act as if i am shock. Act as if i am surprise.. Huh!! Tensi aku!!

To make myself feel a bit comfortable, i started to read again. I am reading a book written by the famous author who also i adore so much after Mr. Sidney Sheldon. The book is, NINETEEN MINUTES~

At first i thot the book is slow.. But after i read the first chapter, i totally changed my perception. So now, i cant put the book down.. She made me wonder about the main character (male), Peter Houghton who he is the predator as well as the victim. I think i would act the same way if i am in his shuz...

In this emotionally charged novel, Jodi Picoult delves beneath the surface of a small town to explore what it means to be different in our society.

In Sterling, New Hampshire, 17-year-old high school student Peter Houghton has endured years of verbal and physical abuse at the hands of classmates. His best friend, Josie Cormier, succumbed to peer pressure and now hangs out with the popular crowd that often instigates the harassment. One final incident of bullying sends Peter over the edge and leads him to commit an act of violence that forever changes the lives of Sterling’s residents.

Even those who were not inside the school that morning find their lives in an upheaval, including Alex Cormier. The superior court judge assigned to the Houghton case, Alex—whose daughter, Josie, witnessed the events that unfolded—must decide whether or not to step down. She’s torn between presiding over the biggest case of her career and knowing that doing so will cause an even wider chasm in her relationship with her emotionally fragile daughter. Josie, meanwhile, claims she can’t remember what happened in the last fatal minutes of Peter’s rampage. Or can she? And Peter’s parents, Lacy and Lewis Houghton, ceaselessly examine the past to see what they might have said or done to compel their son to such extremes. Nineteen Minutes also features the return of two of Jodi Picoult’s characters—defense attorney Jordan McAfee from The Pact and Salem Falls, and Patrick DuCharme, the intrepid detective introduced in Perfect Match.

Rich with psychological and social insight, Nineteen Minutes is a riveting, poignant, and thought-provoking novel that has at its center a haunting question. Do we ever really know someone?

That is all~


Monday, January 25, 2010

Wow.. It has been so long since i updated my blog with my own stories.
Life has been normal in a way and been tough at the same time.
Been sick for a week plus but i am getting better already.
Dah boleh makan dan minum dengan kadar normal.
Dah boleh bejalan2 tanpa perlu membawa tiger balm & tissue.
So yeah, things are good.. And i do feel good :)
Cume batuk masih ada sikit2, but thats fine..

Anyways, works are quite slow abit.
Because i ngelat sikit. Unintentionally!!
The office is moving, so we are busy packing the stuffs.
Sumpah banyak gile barang especially forms + reports + records.. Wow!!
Quite agak macam buruh kasar juga la sekarang nih.
Wear jeans to office.. & selipar jepun.. Amek kaw!!
The new place will be closer to my home!! GOODIE :)
Maken lambat la aku kluar rumah nnt.. Hahah!!

My nephew celebrated his first year's birthday last 10january
Photos taken but i am very the lazy one to upload
Plus i am trying hard to nyorokkan diri kan :p
SO yeah, no piccas for everyone.. Sorry..
In other words, this blog will be real boring

Urmm... Currently we are approaching the end of the month kan.. kan..kan..
I am kinda over excited to receive my first salary..
Hohoho.. Teruja sangat :)
I did some calculation.. Tolak hutang sana sini..
Balance = cipotzz!!
Owh.. TIDAKKK!! Tak pe la...

Well, thats all from diandra
Will update soon..


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Refer to my old post first...

I just received the news.
My friend passed away this morning at 10.45am.
Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan dengan org2 soleh.

You will be missed..

Dear Friend

You were one of the first friends i made when i entered shah alam 2 years ago. You were nice enough to approach me and be my friends when others were still puzzled and wondered who i was. Because of you, people started to recognised me.

You shared with me your ups and downs.. You shared with me how you overcome everything and you put your life back on track, heading to the goal you are aiming for. Though you still have not reach it, but the goal is approaching and everyone can see that.. I can see that.

Your life was hard and still hard.. You moved alot from one place to another.. Maybe that s why you were nice to me, you understood how a new comer feel like, how i felt like. Thank you dear friend. You were tough and were very strong in going through everything. I can tell that just by listening to your tales.. I was impressed.. Because of that, i stole some of your semangat..

I used your semangat so that i could go through my life.. Now that i have gone through it nice and perfect, i am returning your semangat back to you.. Because right this second you need it more that i do. With your semangat, i am giving part of mine as well.. I am so sorry to hear what had happened.. I am so sorry that i could do nothing.. My semangat and prays are the only things that i can give to you.

Be strong dear friend.. Insya ALLAH, we will manage to pull sufficient blood for you. We all hope to see you on the stage on our convo ceremony. Take care dear friend.. May GOD will always be with you and hope HE will grant our doas...AMIN

p/s: Pls pray for my friend. He is suffering from a leuchemia (an acute one) Within 2 weeks, he sort of lost everything, including his eyesight. Doc ssid, he is in critical condition. Currently in ICU and nobody can visit him because of the viruses due to the chemo. We can only see him thru the glass, only if we are lucky enough.


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Saya masih kurang sihat.. Masih Demam..
Walaupun demam, saya naek 3kg.. Hahahah!!!
Anyways.. just want to share this one thing..

*Hi my name is Sam.. S.U.E = Sam.. This is my card* :)

Yes people, i am getting my name card this monday.. Supposedly i get them last week but i was too lazy to get it done.. So this monday baru hegeh2 nak buat :D

Need to blow my nose.. Owh running nose :( accchhummmm.. Excuse me :p

Life so far

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Its already passed my bed time. But i am still awake. Wide awake plak tu.. Ishkk.. I am not feeling well today. My head is spinning badly.. I am having a terrible headache since this morning. I was so quiet the whole day at work and i had my lunch in the office, i prepared my lunch from home. Because i know i wont be able to go out. Everyone was quite concern, consider that i am one VERY talkative person then suddently gone mute. And a manager at my work place was so nice to give me a head massage from time to time. Thank you kakak...

My days were pretty down lately, sumhow it just happened.. I guess i have not really cured from all dramas. I really need strength to go through everything because seriously i do not want to put my future and people i love in jeopardy. Tak nak panjang kan cerita. Saya perlukan kesabaran yang lebih.

Work is sort of be on my side. I finally able to understand things better now. I skipped another meeting this morning due to my health condition. This morning, i told my boss that i prefer to do office work now rather than going out. He was so surprised hearing my decision. Its just too much work for me now. After i get everything sorted out, i will hit the field again. I enjoyed field work very much, and i know i will enjoy it more later.. Meeting people.. Dazzle people... Amaze people.. Everything is just so entertaining..

Thats all about it. Will see how the rest of the week go.. :)



Thursday, January 7, 2010

I am really tired today. Work loads was not quite bad.. Was not too much but many... Haha.. It was hard to handle too many things at one time or at the same time. Hamek kaw!! Physically i am fine, but mentally ada sikit shot.. :p.. But whatever it is. i love what i am doing though it is quite amusing for girls to do what i am doing and handling now. Most people get shocked when they found out that i am the person in-charge.. Face it gents, the young lady here is in-charge!!

Who am i? I am someone la... :p Yes, thats me. I take orders directly from the president/coo.. And currently under this project i have only 2 team mates. One is my officemate and the other one is the representative (business development director) from our neighbor country. So yeah, things are quite hard here and this project is completely new, fresh from the microwave.. Obviously everything is chaos a bit. Current customers are far from KL but luckily they are nice people, so yeah, they made my works easier a biiiiiiiittt!! Sigh..

I will be moving around.. Up and down the road.. Here and there around peninsular malaysia.. Thank GOD that i dont have to drive. The driver will take us to our destination. I missed one trip last monday, and they finally reported to me this morning and i found things were hard to understand, so i will be going there myself next week. Meet the people in person and see things with my own eyes.

I hope that we can reach RM1mil sale ASAP so that i can get more staffs under me because i tell u, things are like zoo here... ahahah.. Ada sapa2 sanggup tak?? Senang je keja under me.. The only thing matters to me is perfection, nothing more than that :p

Good nite :)

Here I am :B

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Here i am sitting at my desk and typing this entry while i am suppose to do some identifying work.. Not that i refuse to do, i am just tired of reading those directory and journals. Strained too much on the small letters. Will be blind if i continue on reading those.

Work so far is fine. Not much different from my practical. Because nobody is around. As in people from my department are not around. And supposedly i should be gone yesterday with them but i told them its too early for me to go for an outstation just yet. Perghhhh.. ayat :p Lucky me, they said ok..

I just had my lunch. I had rice today, pheww finally.. Been trying to eat them for days but tekak nih mmg tak lalu tengok nasi, kata azam tahun baru. *Kak, hari ni saya nak makan nasi. Nasi separuh ye*.. When it comes to payment time.. *Kak berapa seme??*.. *Nasik dah la separuh, tu pon tak abes!! Baek tak yah amek nasi!!*

Monolog dalam hati..*Baeklah kak, mulai esok saya tak maw makan nasi kat sini..*

I am freaking full now. Kenyang yang teramat.. And i am starting to see stars and pillow already.. Zzzzzz.. Nap after lunch is heaven.. Haha.. Owh before i forget, i really need to arrange my sleepping time. I have not sleep for nights already. Result to that, i am helping NESTLE to gain more revenue.. Bersusun dah Nescafe MOCHA.. :p

Good day blog!!

My ears' supplement :D

Sunday, January 3, 2010

When these pillars get pulled down,
It will be you who wears the crown,
And I'll owe everything to you

How much pain has cracked your soul?
How much love would make you whole?
You're my guiding lightning strike

I can't find the words to say,
But they're overdue,
I've traveled half the world to say,
I belong to you

Then she attacks me like a Leo,
When my heart is split like Rio,
But, I assure you my debts are real

I can't find the words to say,
When I'm confused,
I've traveled half the world to say,
You are my muse

(Ah! Re'ponds a` ma tendresse,
Verse-moi, verse-moi l'ivresse,
Re'ponds a` ma tendresse,
Re'ponds a` ma tendresse,
Ah! Verse-moi l'ivresse,
Verse-moi, verse-moi l'ivresse,
Re'ponds a` ma tendresse,
Re'ponds a` ma tendresse,
Ah! Verse-moi l'ivresse,
I belong,
I belong to you alone)

I can't find the words to say,
But they're overdue,
I've traveled half the world to say,
I belong to you

I fell in love with this song when i heard it for the first time. I feel like flying each time i listen to it. Haha.. Creep me, i know.. I like the song, like the singer.. Like everything.. Funny to say, i like the remixed version..Haha.. Rock yang diremixkan.. Quite nice.. Double creeppy me :p

Activity for today... Mainly to download songs.. Those Paramore songs.. Loike!! Urm, i could not remember what was the last CD i purchased.. And when was it, huh?? Love all these technology.. D/load mp3 and bluetooth thingy.. It makes my pocket less empty.. Haha!! Kudos to who ever invented it :D


Thats More Lyk It!! :p

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I could not sleep last night.. AGAIN!! I guess the insomia is back. Wooo, that is not good ok. I really need to adjust my sleeping habit because starts from Monday things will be different. Uitts, it is not like i never work before. It is just that i have to make a very good impression.. At least on the VERY first day.. Haha!!

So i went to bed around 4am and i woke up around 8am.. Now i am still awake since.. Did not feel sleepy at all, nor tired.. Though today was a rough day.. Quite rough day.. Relatives came over, had tea and dinner over here. It was pleasant and happy..

Children were running around.. Aunts and uncles talked out loud.. I mean like really LOUD.. Everyone talked, so i wondered who actually do the listening.. Maybe me, perhaps.. Niece updated me with her latest sin and crime.. The younger cousin kept on asking, "Is there anymore food left??" Hehe.. Me loike being the host.. :D.. Overall, it was just another family gathering where everyone talk about themselves and what they have been up to..

That was i how i spent my day.. Yurp and yurp.. I hardly go out on Saturday, because to me Saturday is family day. And with family is where and whom i want to be with.. I my family & relatives real much, thou i have to admit.. Sometimes they give me migrane ;p

Mode : Happy :D



......My first day of 2010 went PERFECTLY too well!!
I hate to hear things and to find out things..

Diandra's Resolution~

Friday, January 1, 2010

Every year i would list down my resolution and normally i only listed one down. But i think i have to do differenlty this year. All these while [for years] the only thing that matter the most is to get good result and and to finish on time. Since i am no longer a student, i have my other wishes now. Hope that all wishes will come true..

On monday, i will start my new job.. A job that have something similar to what i have studied for the past 6 years. It is time to put every theory into practical and see if really works. I am grateful and thankful enough for the opportunity given, but i am still open my eyes wide to see other opportunities. Because i do not plan to stay at this job for a long time. Therefore, getting a new job is my first resolution :)

Secondly is to have a balance diet and eat accordingly. I do not know why i dont like to eat. I skipped meal most of the time. I dont eat and drink.. Tapi tak papan gak.. Anyways, i will try to drink plenty of water daily and eat proper food. Will learn to eat rice.. Orang kata saya bukan melayu... Well duh~!! I am asian, and supposely asian do eat rice.. But i am not.. Maka aku kah yang bermasalah?? Mungkin juga~

To have more holidays and vacation. Even its only on weekend, i dont care.. I just need to be out more often.. I rarely go anywhere last year, compared to the years before.. So yeah, more vacations or short trip. Need them badly!!

Final resolution is to have a life to my own. I want to embrace my life with my friends. I really need to catch things up with the clan, friends and family.

Thats all i have in mind right now. Who knows i might change them or add few more~..


A New Beginning~


I did stand in my yard and i enjoyed the firework show. It was awesome and i am glad that i have given the chance to witness the beauty night sky, ALHAMDULLIAH.. Witnessed two fireworks at the same time, from One Utama and The Curve. Both pulled great one but i must say, i liked OU's better. They did great job.. It was quite long though tak banyak pattern, still it was nice. I almost tearing just now. GOD gives me another year to live.. And i shall make a full use of it..

And at this moment, i am thinking of Arwah Eyann.. I really miss u adik. It has been 4months since u have been gone. May u RIP.. Al-Fatihah~

p/s: Happy birthday to nadea :)
p/s:: picture above = from OU~