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After a year plus!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

OMG.. Last night i dreamt of her.. Her who?? The bitch.. The anonymous.. Her.. The intruder.. Each time i dream of her, mesti ada benda jadi.. Demmit~!! Apasal die muncul eh?? During the dream, i could not force myself to wake up.. Had to witness/see/experience the dream.. Suwey betul la.. I saw her face crystal clear this time.. Ok, diandra... Pls stop questionning urself.. U have done the questionning part for too long.. Enough okies~

LOSER~

Friday, February 26, 2010

To whom it may concern...

Dont try to play smart.. Dont try to act innocent.. And seriously NEVER try to play GOD.. I am gonna pretend like it didnt happen and will always pretend like i dont even know u. Pack ur things up and leave.. Seriously, enough is enough.. U are one person with all the *i am so KERDIL and harmless* look.. But the real thing is u r one DOUBLE FACES man on earth.. Uno advice for u, never believe when someone said *i am not an internet savvy* becos we all know that internet is nothing and everyone is pretty great at it.. Capiche~!!

So long~!!

And to the other person:

Who ever you are.. Seriously i dont care who you are.. But bottom line is, stop messing with my account.. Apa masalah kau sebenarnye?? Are u retarded?? Sertiously, u need help and i know a place for a person who has a sick mind like u.. Shoooo.. Move along bitch.. Bastard.. Whatever~

Aite.. Cant wait for march!! Lots need to be done.. :D

Na Na Na Na.. hey hey hey GOODBYE~!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Am I supposed to put my life on hold
Because you don't know how to act
And you don't know where your life is going
Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a corner crying?
Pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone

Chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it sing!
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
Na na na na, na na na na
Hey hey hey
Goodbye

Cut my hair 'cuz it reminded me of you
I know you like the long 'do,
Had to switch my attitude up
Thinkin' of changing up how I ride, No more
On the passenger side
Too bad you miss out on the way that I drive it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone

Chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it sing!
Na na na na, na na na na
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye

Hey hey, hey hey hey
Goodbye

Chorus:
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new
I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it sing!
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye

Goodbye
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
Na na na na,hey na na na na hey
Hey hey hey
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Just my OST~

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hei pujaan hati apa kabarmu
Ku harap kau baik-baik saja
Pujaan hati andai kau tahu
Ku sangat mencintai dirimu
Hei pujaan hati setiap malam
Aku berdoa kepada sang Tuhan
Berharap cintaku jadi kenyataan
Agar ku tenang meniti kehidupan

Hei pujaan hati, pujaan hati
Pujaan hati, pujaan hati


reff:
Mengapa kau tak membalas cintaku
Mengapa engkau abaikan rasaku
Ataukah mungkin hatimu membeku
Hingga kau tak pernah pedulikan aku

Cobalah mengerti keadaanku
Dan cobalah pahami keinginanku
Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Lengkapi jalan cerita hidupku

*
Hei pujaan hati, pujaan hati

Hei pujaan hati setiap malam
Aku berdoa kepada sang Tuhan
Berharap cintaku jadi kenyataan
Agar ku tenang meniti kehidupan

repeat *, reff



*The most wonderful guy gave me this song.. In my eyes, hes the greatest. Forever i will adore him~*

Feb 18~

Someone dedicated this song to me.. Thanx a bunch~

I entered the room
Sat by your bed all through the night
I watched your daily fight
I hardly knew
The pain was almost more than I could bear
And still I hear
Your last words to me

[Chorus]:
Heaven is a place nearby
So I won't be so far away
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you'll find me someday
Heaven is a place nearby
So there's no need to say goodbye
I will ask you not to cry
I'll always be by your side

You just faded away
You spread your wings, you had flown
Away to something unknown
Wish I could bring you back
You're always on my mind
About to tear myself apart
You have your special place in my heart, always

[Chorus]

And even when I go to sleep
I still can hear your voice
And those words, I never will forget

[Chorus]


A good song but i dont know why should i listen to this.. Apakah??

The ups & downs~

Hey blog of mine.. I kept on jumping from one blog to another.. I guess i do have serious issue because i dont know on how to make a decision even to decide which blog i really want to use for real.. Haizz..

Since last saturdays, my days had been like one long rollercoaster ride. Started the weekend very sadly then happy to the max and end with tears and anger. Same old me.. Something never change. But its fine.. Its all a matter of learning process to be a mature lady. I need those. But i just wonder why do i have to learn everything through the hard way??

13 Feb 2010~

The CNY eve.. My family + relatives went for a big yamcha (a hi-tea) at a hotel in PJ. It was fun and full with laughter. Food was great thou there was not so much of choice but janji kenyang and perut bahagia. We celebrated 3 birthdays at once. All belated.. It was sort of a surprise birthday celebration too. Neither of us knew about it. So yeah, it went very well.. Bloated lagi dgn kek.. Thumbs up!!

At night, after maghrib the BF of mine came over.. Just reached from the south.. Yurp.. He is still travelling.. He said the traffic was madness but lucky him driving is his most fave hobby.. So he did not mind at all.. :D.

So the two of us went out. Haha sort of went to celebrate the V'day :) Never done it before after so many years be together. He is trying hard now to win my heart back. Which i am flattered.. Thank you for trying. I appreciate it so much. We drove around KL and we chit chatted all the time.. Almost about everything. I asked him everything i needed to know and i must say i was quite satisfied.. I repeat QUITE SATISFIED~!!.. He dropped me off around 3.40 am and i went to bed around 4am..~

14 Feb 2010~
Woken up around 6.15am.. Daymn i overslept!! Showered in ala-kadar way and drove as fast as i could to my brother's house. We (brother & family, sister & family, cousins and myself) planned to go for a picnic and small bbq. We went to sungai tekala. The place was quite nice but way too crowded but as long as the kids had fun, then its fine by the adults.

I was the chef of the day. I bbq-ed the food. My sister said, *Its good that diandra loves to bbq.. Something that i never knew*.. *Owh no.. U got it all wrong. I bbq because i never done it before.. This is my first attempt. So kalau ada yang tak masak tu, anggap je la tu sushi.. Thou its chicken~*.. But it turn out everything is well cooked.. Selamat :)

Being the only not-yet-married girl, makes me the perfect victim to be bullied. Thanx boys. Just what i needed.. Dah nak balik, korang angkat kite duk dlm sungai kan.. U guys even shampoo-ed my hair plak tu.. Perfect~!! :D Thanx for making my day~!! We left the place somewhere arond 5pm happily with full tummy!!

15 Feb 2010~

The most fun day!! Started by i went to LRT to fetch my darling bestie#1 and from there we headed to shah alam and fetched another bestie of ours. After 1 year plus, then only the three of us got to kill some time together. Owh sungguh syok!!

We went to pyramid with the innitial plan was to crash the kareoke lounge but it was too expensive due to CNY.. We walked along the Asian Avenue but it was quite boring because most of the shops were closed (duhh~!!).. Then we planed to watch a movie.. Not surprising, the que was REAL long. At the end, the besties said, *Lets crash ur place!!* and i agreed!!

We hung out at my place. Picked up where we left. Gossiped about most of the things and did what we always do. Buli-membuli each other and laughed our lungs out. I had so much to laugh for was so happy til i did not really realise that i sorta changed my behavior. Cup called and asked *Are u high?? Did u take anything just now??* Hahah... That showed how happy i was on monday :)

Anyways, around 8pm, i was suppose to fetch my bestie#1 back to her place. When we were about to leave the house, my mom said *Kenapa nak balik?? Kenapa tak tido sini?? Tido la sini!! Bestie#2 kan ada tido sini. Bukan senang bestie#2 nak dtg KL~!!* :p.. Dah kena sound tepek, bestie#1 agreed to stay the night. But still we drove her back to her place to get her belongings.

Then we went to McD to have our late suppers and talked somemore.. Agak2 mata dah berat, we went home and it did not stop there. The talking and laughing continued.. :) And i did not realise when was exactly i went to bed~

16 Feb 2010~
We all woke up around 8am. Showered and got ready. Must send bestie#1 back because she was working on that day.. Pity her.. Heheh.. We reached her work place around 9++am.. And we had our breakfast there. She thought that we wud leave after breakfast, but we did not. We stayed there until she finished all her work. Baek kan kitorg :)

Long story cut short, after i dropped her off, i drove back to shah alam to drop another girl of mine. The traffic was smooth.. Bagus betul! The two of us talked somemore but it was more on serious matter. She advised me on things i shud and shud not do. I thank her so much. I wish i am strong enuff to do as advised. Haihhhh~

Right after i dropped her off, i started to feel empty again. Things are back to zero and square one. I cried along the way. I entered my house with my shades on because i did not want my parents to notice that i had been crying.

Lucky me, that the shades were still on when i checked my emeail, because i received one email that crashed my heart.. I expected it to hapen but i never thot it will happen so soon. I was shaking real bad.

I went into my room and started to think again. Deeply.. I took everyone's advices.. And i reached to one conclusion. I was sure about it. Very!! I decided to walk away from CUP, entirely!!

An hour later, i started to feel less shaking so i decided to go out for a drve. I was driving here and there not knowing where should i directed myself to. Haihhh~ And Cup called. We talked, i cried.. Talked somemore.. And i went home. CLUELESS~!!

17 Feb 2010~
I woke up quite early thou i did not sleep well the night before. I had agreed to go out with someone. So the person fetched me at home around 8.30am. We did not plan anything at all, so we started to drive around up and down KL.. haha~!! I started to cheer up a bit hoping its a brand new day and willing to leave yesterday's issue behind.

My friend came out with the idea of going to the beach and so we did. It was not me who drove, so i didnt really care and pg jauh mana pun :p Once we reached there, we did not do much. Duduk, minum, duduk, termenung. I needed a break from KL and my friend gave me one. Thank you!!

We saw a brand new hotel. Perfectly new with private beach and everything. They managed to pull one nice landscape though the area is not so big. They provide with lots of activities. Suitable for family for short vacay trip..

My friend got this one crazy idea and managed to pull me into it. Haha.. Yurp, we checked in just to see or should i say to *capture* the view from the room. Man i have to say, its WORTH it!! Seriuosly. I would recommend people to go there.. The rate is quite high but its worth it.. I would go there again if i have the chance to. And would love to stay in the same room i went into..

After we had our lunch, its time to leave.. haha.. Gile kan.. Masuk, makan, gune toilet and balik.. Urmmm.. Nanti saya bank-in separuh ye.. :p

The day went perfectly like heaven. My friend put smile back on my face. I laughed a lot again. I smiled a lot.. Endlessly.. Thank you darling. U made my day and i could never want to lose a person so special like u unless GOD says so.

With the smile still on my face, i checked my email. And bammed!! There is an email. Never thought would received another but i did. All these while i fell guilty with what i am doing but after receiving such emails, the guilt is sorta changed into anger. I wonder why cant ppl use proper words and proper language as if i am dumb enough to understand.. As if im too blind to see things.

If i want to behave like that person, i could.. I would say, BRING IT ON.. Not because i want to fight to win, but i want to fight because i just need to teach the person a bit of manners. Ye mmg aku salah but jangan ingat aku tak tepis. Jangan ingat aku doa sangat benda nak jadi macam ni. So pls go figure. Try to see from my views and start to judge later. U are way beyond line my dear. But pls try to respect others. Trust me when i say that i do understand how u feel.. If i dont, i wont be having this guilt feeling~!!

To whom it may concern, i forgive you for being soooo unreasonable by sending me those knid of emails.. And i forgive you for making me feel so low.. Also, i am sorry for making feel so angry in any particular way. I respect u though u dont know that.. I do really.. I am sorry once again!!

To u, u know who u are. I am begging u to stop all the dramas. Its not going to end nicely especially for me. I have gone thru this once and i saw how it ended.. It ended badly.. By all means, pls stop contacting me, I am so out of words already. I dont know how to tell u to stop. Pls let me move on and create other problem that does not concern u at all.

2010 is suppose to be a problemless year for me. Instead, i got bigger one. I am putting my shoes on and i want to run away. Away from all these madness. Tq!!

Attention!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY PREVIOUS ENTRIES
AND WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM,
PLEASE READ THE OTHER BLOG..
THE PRIVATE ONE..
THE OLD ONE..
ITS NOT OPEN TO EVERYONE
FEEL FREE TO READ AND JUDGE ME
BECAUSE I DONT CARE IF PEOPLE WANT TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME
BECAUSE I AM IMMUNE TO IT ALREADY!!

I keep on thanking u.. Because u r so wonderful!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I cant update my status at my FB and Tweeter account for some certain private reason.. Daymn!! I hate when ppl can invade my privacy.. :( Anyway, i had one awesome lunch with bunch of people who i adore!!

Honestly speaking i was so freaking happy to see u.. I was kind of shock, surprised and excited :D.. Thanx so muxh for taking me out for lunch.. U made my day... It was so stupid of me to cry but everything was quite a mess and by seeing u this afternoon made my day turn around.. From one gloomy morning to one bright afternoon.. Thanx!!

And yes, like i told u, i wont be around & u gave me the permission to.. Thanx!!

p/s: *U picked me*!! I am thankful :)

Just another insomia :)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Its 3am now and i am still wide awake. I am tired but i cant sleep. I guess the guilt i am feeling now made me to stay awake.. Sumpah i hate this kind of feeling..

One of my resolutions this year is to be a better decision maker.. And trust me when i say that i am about to make one huge decision.. My bestie did give me her point of view.. It changes from one day to another depending on how i describe the situation to her.. So now, i am sorta blur and more confuse ahahah.. All i know is, this decision is a decision that i shud have made long time ago but i didnt and i am not even sure why i didnt.. And i dont know for real why shud i make it now.. [I am getting more confused than ever.. Kudos to me :p]

When i am stressed up, where did i go?? Ku pg menabung lagi.. Yeay!! I bought Sherlock Holmes complete book!! Dont know when will i start to read that since i have not finish my previous book. Lack of time lately.. :(






I hate to be where i am now.. I hate to hurt anyone's feeling intentionally.. I hate to be the bad character.. I hate the situation.. I hate everything.. I wish i could turn back time to undo what is done.. :(

Read Somemore :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Last month i bought a book. This book already been transformed into a major movie but aku kedek2 baru nak bace.. haha.. :p I skipped reading that one as i saved it for last.. The book is: The Time Traveller's Wife. I did not know that this book was Audrey Niffenegger's first book.. WoW!! First book.. n jadi major movie?? Amazing~



I am sure most of u have read this book.. Or atleast have watched the movie.. As for me, i done nothing from the above.. ahah.. I wish i could have more time to read now, because i am quite busy nowadays.. Kejar target... ohohoh..

Anyways, thats all for now.. Nothing is new to update :)


p/s: dear bestie, just for the record, aku tak lupa bahasa ibunda aku ok :p

P/s:: the current song tu best tak?? Its my alarm tone every morning.. Gile kuat :) But i used unplugged version so kureng sikit rock dier :p.. U can find the lyric of that song on my previous entry :)

Whatever... Lalalal!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore

Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same

We're the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it

The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same

Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out



When people say internet is the main source of everything.. I think they are bloody right.. Thou sometimes ppl also said this, *do not trust every content of the internet*.. But to me, internet speaks nothing but the truth.. I found out the truth from the internet.. Internet never disappoint me.. In any way.. And i must say, the truth hurts.. Yurp oh yurp..

Ishkkk....!!

 
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