I just dont get it~

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Kenapa orang mcm suka sgt menipu eventhou dah kantoi kaw2 punya?
Kenapa orang suka sgt nak jadi director atas pentas yang dicipta oleh ALLAH??
Bebal sangat kah orang tesebut??
Bodoh sangat kah??
Sengal sangat kah??
Ataw mungkin beliaw sangat kepingin nak jadi artis tapi tak laku?
Hey inchik, im done with u.. Im done with all the dramas..
Kaw tak boring kah bila wayang kaw hanya engkaw saja penontonnya?

Somehow i still think that he does read my blog.. But who cares.. My blog, im the author.. Means that i can write freely.. I think this is my 3rd entry i posted about him.. If u are still clueless than i just give up~

p/s: no offence, some ppl are just dumb and trapped in their own lil world. I pity u IF U ARE ONE OF THEM!!


A Break Is Needed~

Monday, March 22, 2010

In *exhausted mode*
I need a break
& enuff sleep :(


Another entry~

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dan memang susah untukku pergi
Setelah bersama
Dan cintaku kepadamu
Tetap kan ku genggam
tapi saatnya telah tiba
untuk kita ...berpisah
Namun paras wajahmu dalam hatiku kekal...

Selamat tinggal... Selamat tinggal...
Usah ditangis... usah kau rindu
relakan kepergianku
selamat tinggal... selamat tinggal...

Walau ku pergi
kau tetap di hati
Cintaku ... kan kekal
Selamat tinggal...

I fell in love with this song when i heard zizan sang it about weeks ago. It was a very touchy song. I heard it for the first time when i was in a deep shit.. A very deep one.. When i was so clueless, when i felt so guilty over things, when i think i should leave things the way they were.. Knowing that no matter how hard i want things to be my way, i still could never get it. Whoaa tersentuh ngan ayat sendri.. :p

Things i learnt in this week:
*Jage hati sendri then only u can take care of other people's hearts.. Sbb kalau hati sendri terluka, semua benda tak jadi*..
*Some dreams, hopes, wishes u just have to let go*..
*I can never have everything i want.. But i do have everything that everyone ever need*..

What a life i have, kan.. But im willing to walk along it til i meet the dead end..~

p/s: I dont know if u read this, but if u do... Thank you for lying to my face.. Thank you for playing with my mind.. Thank you for taking too much of my time.. Thank you so much for making ppl's lives quite miserable.. Maybe to u other ppl's hearts, lives and time have less value than urs. However, thank you for deciding to stop everything at last..

p/s: While im typing this, im listening to ferhad's song. It influenced me to type a very EMOTIONAL entry.. hurmm.. I am not that too cracked ok.. Hahah~



Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Do you people belive in soulmate? Urmm.. I do.. And for some reasons, i think i have found mine. At least in my own context of understanding. I believe he is my other half but i must not forget, JODOH PERTEMUAN di tangan tuhan~

Classic Meaning of Soulmates
The concepts of soulmates arose from Greek mythology. According to the story, our ancestors once had 2 heads, 4 arms. They did something to offend a god so that god punished them by splitting them down the middle, resulting in the creation of humans. As a punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half, our soulmates.

Spiritual Soulmate Concepts
Many religions and spiritual paths believe in reincarnation and the concept of karma. Through reincarnation, soulmates may spend many lifetimes together in past lives. Other spiritual methods of searching for one's soulmate are astrology, numerology, palm reading, personality types, and magic. Modern spritual paths often blend western and eastern philosophies.

Companion SoulmatesThese are people that we encounter through their life. These are usually friends, teachers, mentors, or other people who have helped you achieving a life's goal or helped you out of a crisis.

Twin Soulmates
These types of soulmate are your closest friends or a person whom you really click with. According to those who believe in reincarnation, you have already met them in a past life, and in this life you are continuing the relationship. There is an emotional bond between these soulmates and each is able to sense the feelings of each other..

Twin Flame SoulmatesThis is the most popular type of soulmate. There is usually one twin flame soulmate for each of us. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain.

Love Economics Definition of SoulmatesLove Economics is our theory of love and dating. It is based on probabilities calculations, population statistics, and empirical research findings from Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, and Psychiatry. Love Economics explains social interactions in economic terms, benefits and costs. Based on this theory, the person who gives you the highest benefit per cost ratio on this Earth is your soulmate. The benefit to cost ratio is called your soulmate ratio. Mathematically, the ratio is written as:

Soulmate Ratio = Total Love Benefit / Total Love Cost

Your soulmate is the person who will maximize your soulmate ratio and vice versa. If another person exists that has the ability to give you a higher soulmate ratio than the person you are with, then the person you are with is not your soulmate. No one in this world, including being by yourself, could make you happier than being in love with your soulmate. True love is the love you share with your soulmate.

Some people believe that a potential soulmate may be living halfway around the world. Based on the Love Economic Theory, the odds are against this happening due to cultural differences unless you just moved from there. Also, geographical distance will increase search, research, and maintenance costs. Unless one of you decides to take the risk to move to the other person's location, he/she is not your soulmate.

The longer you are in love with your soulmate, the higher the soulmate ratio becomes. Better communication skills will emerge and you both will share more experiences resulting in more similarities. It is only after you finished the research phase and had been in love for many years can you determine if the person you are with is indeed your soulmate.


My Sunday without family~

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I am sitting at home doing nothing.. Just finished cleaning the house. I did some spring cleaning. Macam maw pindah je. Abis macam2 ku buang.. If my mom is around, surely she will be pissed off.. Hahah~ Sorry la mumy, we just dont have that similar perangai of keeping old stuffs. I dont like to keep stuffs that we dont use.. Especially stuffs that we already forgotten about the existence of it.. Heheh~

I did laundry earlier of the day.. Hari tak panas sangat, mesti lambat kering :( I am just taking a bit rest before me start to hit the kitchen.. Teringin nak mkn carbonara.. Yurp.. Will be having carbonara for lunch.. Gemuk Gemuk Gemuk la lagi aku pasni..

Oh yeah, will start to work out again.. Becos i gained 3kg already.. TIDAKKKKK!! It has been months since the last time i went to the park.. Will start my gym soon [confirm, hot2 chicken poops je nih...] Honestly speaking, i will start to do things that i had stopped. Like fishing, wall climbing, hiking and golfing!! So yeah.. I need those entertaiment again.. I miss the old me and now i really want to bring the old me alive from the dead.. :) Wish me luck on that~

Enjoy the lyrics ok.. Quite slow and sad songs~

Mungkin engkau yang t’lah lemah
Mungkin juga engkau yang t’lah lelah
menjaga semua cinta kita
yang berakhir saat kutemukan dia

Mungkin aku yang t’lah lemah
mencintai dirimu yang telah
meninggalkan diriku yang pernah mencintai dirimu seperti dia

Selamat tinggal kasih untuk selamanya
Jangan pernah kembali mengharap cintaku
kini kasih relakan kupergi selamanya
Untuk selamanya

I googled for another song that have the same title. But i could find it. Instead i found this song, which it is not that bad.. While im typing this, i am listening to it..

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget
These images

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

This second song is a song that i listen to every single day, for the past 2 months. The first time i heard it when dice and me were at a karaoke.. No one sing at that time. He just wanted me to listen to it. From that nite, i fell in love with the singer. I d/loaded few songs of hers.. Gotta say, i love her songs!! Including the one is playing now at my blog :D

p/s: saya demam kembali.. hope esok pun dmm la lagi.. leh amek MC!!


La Thursday

Thursday, March 11, 2010

While i am typing this im in the LRT heading to KL city center. I have been doing some thinking and did some evaluation on certain things. I tried to project my future and by doing such i saw nothing. Its like everything has shut down and i dont know wheres the on/off button. Suddently i feel like my life has no direction. Am i making any sense here?

I went to bed quite early last night becos i did not get enough sleep on the previous nite. But my sleep got distracted by a phone call. So i went out around 2am... I tried to make everyone clear about my stand but apparently its either i failed or they simply refused to make any effort to understand... Either way, everything will end up making me to be the bad person.

To whom it may concern, i totally understand how u feel right now but trust me theres nothing i can do at the moment. I just think enuff is enuff. Stop pushing me, stop questioning me.. Pls for GOD's sake let me embrace my life alone by myself. Sabar2 dulu boleh tak? Im just a human.. I do mistakes too like everyone else... I cant undo what u have done but i surely can try to find a way to fix and heal my own heart.. I am fully aware by fixing my heart, im hurting urs.. But maybe this is what we call KARMA...

Take care


Its 9.30pm now and i am editing my entry cos im just a lazy person to start a new one.. Just wanna share my day today.. Freaky, but i had FUN~!! I did :)

I was at a seminar.. They talked about something that has no relation with me. But actually sorta have connection with my job, in a way.. I was invited by my along.. Thank you so much along for the opportunity given.. Hey ur staffs talked about u in front of me, not knowing who am i to u.. Heheh.. And i must say, i am so damn proud of u..

After the seminar, i went to KLCC.. Hahah.. The last time i went for a window shopping there was 3 years ago.. When i was still Zeolord's GF.. Gile lama kan.. Sumpah i was so jakun.. But i had fun thou i walked alone :D Tgk macam2.. Nak macam2.. Hahha.. Cakap macam those goods tak da kat OU je.. :p Teringin nak minum my fave hazelnut coffee, tapi sbb ngenangkan 2teguk = RM9, baek tak payah.. Masa student dulu terasa kaya, sekarang asyik rasa miskin je.. Buruk betul pe'el aku neh :p

Everything was smooth and fun.. Sumhow.. Cume there was something i found quite freaky at a petrol station near my home. A person watched me.. Dari sampai - isi minyak - naek balik kereta.. And i noticed he made a phone call when i started to drive away.. He was still watching me when he talked on the phone.. Cuak2~ hmmmm...

p/s: Email ku diceroboh lagi.. Ceroboh la ye.. Aku tak kesah dah.. Sharing is caring kan... WTF~


The week.. The life...~

Monday, March 8, 2010

I have lost count of how many entries i posted and withdrew them all back.. Like 4 or 5 i assume..

Its monday.. A brand new week. I wish this week will be more fortunate than last week. Last week was a bit tiring but it was a week that i shall remember. Lots of things taken place.. Heartache.. Fun.. Funny moments.. Shocking news.. All in one..

Breaking news:1- I had a very long talk with kakak from my work.. She helped me alot. Never tot that she would understand me.. But she did.. And yes, i appreciate ur hopes & wishes.. Sorta weird but its fine :)

2- Me and dadu broke up.. Dayyyyyyssss ago or 2 weeks ago.. Urmm, could not recall when but we did.. Finally we did.. But i just changed my FB status yesterday..

XXXX is single. · Comment ·LikeUnlike ·
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Maie Mohd Nazri, Emran ▲ Starchaser, Kinamia Quadrophenia and 2 others like this.

Received lots of comments and messages from friends.. Urmm.. Thank you so much. I dont really know what should i say but just pray for the best for me ok~

3- The parents and relatives are off to UMRAH tmr. So ill be staying home alone for 2weeks++.. Awesome..!! Usually dice will be there to take care of me but now i am on my own.. I think, i will be fine.. Worse come to worst, i stay at office's house je..

4- I dont know what have i been doing lately. I stopped reading.. Mood hilang.. I tossed my books away.. Hishh.. And it has been ages since the last time i watched telly.. I tried to watch it last night, tp cam blur.. Tak tahu hujung pangkal cerita sbb most TV shows are series..

5- I am done with thinking and judging.. Will start to follow the flow.. Apa nak jadi, jadi la.. :D

6- I cut my hair twice last week.. It turned out to be pretty buruk.. Hahahha~!!

7- Had a father-daughter talk yesterday.. Wish i had that conversation weeks ago so at least i know what i should have reacted.. Ishkkk~

8- I mish KIMOKO~!! Surprise surprise~!! :)

Hey gemock, i mish u like frigging mucho ok!! Stay healthy taw.. Dont forget to eat grass!! u busok!! & busuk, u hv ur own room.. Napa still maw masuk bilik org.. Did u know it was a lot of work for me to do the cleaning yesterday?? Hah?? Hah??

9- Im craving for sushi.. Tapi tak da nak teman!! Tsk tsk tsk :(

10- I have job interviews coming up.. Hope i wud get.. Because if i do, it means i will start to do something that i love :) Journals and more journals.. Pastu jadi retarded lagi cam dulu.. Hahah~.. But the $$$$ kena sama ngan my current $$$$... Amek kaw, mata duitan plak aku sekarang :p

Thats my life currently.. Not doing too well but not doing too bad either.. I pray for the best but still expect the worst.. When theres no rollercoaster ride, means theres no life.. :D

p/s: Sorry, im just too lazy to type in para.. :p


The brothers~

Friday, March 5, 2010

Some people are getting older..

Yurp the brothers are :)
Uncle Z's boys are getting older~!!
Happy Birthday to both of U~!!

Wish u all the best and have a fantastic lives.. I love both of u frigging mucho~

It has been ages since the last time i hung out with u ppl.. Wish u were at KT when i gone back there.. Anyway, Happy birthday Mang.. U r older today :) And happy a day advance birthday Shahmi.. Tmr is ur day :)

p/s: ooo i tgk our old pics especially sutong's last year birthday party.. Tibe2 teruja nak balik KT :) Tak pun KAJANG's crib~!! Rindu giler~


The journey continues :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Yes, i changed my blog again~

After days, i finally spent some time checking my facebook. So i started to comment my friend's status, MSA.. If u cud still remember him la.. A friend of Dadu who claimed that he is my BF gantian.. Haha.. After nearly a month gone missing, he decided to came back to KL.. Phewww.. Been looking for him.. I asked my Dadu where is MSA?? But the only thing he said was, *Ntah i dont know.. Ayah die pun tanya kita*.. Hmmm...

Anyways, last night MSA called me up and told me that he's moving to a new place this friday so he wanted to see me to say goodbye.. So i went out with him, AH and Boy.. Innitially we wanted to crash redbox but then tak jadi pula.. So we played bowling instead.. Ku ngan cuak2 alam takowt jadi raja longkang turned out to be the CHAMPS.. Hahah.. It was so unexpected.. Boy ckp kita ada toyol.. Haha.. Funny u~

After bowling, we went to RASTA.. MSA is actually my Dadu's bestestfriend.. So we talked abit.. I explained things to him.. Hmmmm.. Tu la dia.. He said this, *Ntahla.. Aku tak taw nak express cana.. Kau bekawan ngan aku dulu, baru kau kenal dia.. In a way, aku yg intro korang and aku yg encourage korang.. Sekarang....*

Nevermind MSA.. U dont have to burden ur head.. I am sure we'll get over it.. One way or another.. Just so u know, i thank u for everything and YES i'd definitely fly to penang to visit u.. MESTI pegi.. Dont u worry ok dear!! Sedangkan umah kamu di sunway pun jadi port ku dan cousin2 ku, inikan pula penang.. Kau suka duk umah ada swimming pool kan :p

I was out from 6.30pm and just reached home around 11.30pm.. I had fun.. Seriously i did.. Thanx to them.. u all :)

After quite sometime~

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Hi blog.. I am back with happy mood.. Well nothing is settled actually but things are heading to OK area :)

Nothing much to blab about because everything is sorta jumbled up.. As usual but i am doing pretty good.. Life has been as always.. PARANORMAL.. Cant really put them into words.. Been fighting alot lately and been thinking damn alot too.. But the more i think, the more i got confused.. So yeah, i am just gonna put everything aside.. For the time being... One thing i just realised about myself, i love to provoke people lately.. Just want to know how things will happen kowt..

Last night i had a long conversation with a good friend of mine.. Urm.. We are doing OK.. Me trying to accept the fact and rules.. But i know ill be fine because i know sooner or later i have to let things go.. hmmmm :( He said something that i shall remember thruout my life.. Not that i nvr heard it before.. Cume sll dgr org laen ckp kat org laen but this time he said it to me.. So i shall remember it :)

*Semut merah seberang laut u nampak, tapi gajah depan mata u tak nampak* And tanpa rasa besalah ku jawab.. *I mmg tak nampak, sbb i rabun dekat~*.. Lalalal.. I am so gonna miss him.. The only person who can make me laugh + smile + pissed off + cry all at the same time.. One in a zillion~!! :D

Urmm... I need a vacay.. A friend of mine who is studying at one of the uni in KK went to Manukan Island.. I never heard of the island before.. Its sumwer in KK,sabah.. She mmsed me a pic of the place.. Very nice.. Very tempting.. I wanna go.. After Manukan, my next aim would be Mabul Island.. Cant wait!! Bila lah financialku maw stable.. Tu la, hutang byk sangat :(

The one she mmsed me dalam phone.. Ni i found at google image.. halal la kan :).. Btw, she even left comment on my facebook *Airasia cume RM68 je pegi KK.. Pehi Manukan around RM30.. Tido la hostel kita.. And food campus mana la mahal sgt.. Datang la!!* I will consider it.. Tp tunggu financial ku kukuh juga dulu :(