Resolutions..~ 2016? Ahaxx

Monday, December 28, 2015

Hey there bloggie..

You know, 2015 is reaching its end. Just in 3 more days. And if you ask me, i think i still have more than 3 azmas to complete.. In other words, failed to achieve.. If i could recall , these are my 2015 resolutions;

  1. Eat three times daily. Must have simple breakfast, heavy lunch & light dinner (FAILED). I have my brunch at 11am and eat i-dont-know-what for dinner. Where i dont eat any most of the times.
  2. To read one book per month. Definitely another FAILURE. I read only first few months of 2015. I stopped reading after my 5th book. Not that i was lazy.. But i had extra office work plus with my phd thingy.
  3. To work out every morning before work. Completely FAILED. I dont even have time to make breakfast so what on earth do i  think that i would be capable of doing some stretching? 
  4. Drink at least 1.5L water per day.. 500ml (where 250ml coffee) pun seems impossible to drink in a day.
  5. To prepare my own meal everyday without fail. Hurm... Well at least i can be proud of myself for did not buy anything for berbuka.. I cooked my own meal the whole month and also most of the time.
  6. Show some progress on my phd work (YES)
  7. Presented at high impact conference (YES)
  8. Masuk rumah and live life without hutang (YES)
  9. Travel with hubs and travel with family (YES)
  10. Ordered my first car (YES)

So it is like, 5 vs 5. Heheh.. Not too bad. So what would be my 2016 resolutions? Almost similar!!

  • Eat CLEAN with 3 meals per day. Please cook every meal by myself. Only dine out when hubs around.
  • Drink 2L water per day (A MUST)
  • Please get that book finish. And start to read other books as well.
  • Uninstall games from my phone so i can hold less the phone. Thus more readings can be done.
  • DRP in APRIL
  • Present at higher conference (between Oct - Dec)
  • Travel two times (1 local and 1 abroad)
  • Be consistent in my phd.  
Well, i hope i can do all these. Especially the DRP part.

Happy new year folks~

Without wax,

As Much As I Wanna Say NO...~

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Hello dearest blog.

I am so way behind schedule of everything. I have my own target and due date but unfortunately there are always matters and barriers that stop me from proceeding. I am way too busy this semester despite I have planned not to take any job responsibility as I really intend to focus on my work and study. Nevertheless, works piling up. Not that  I am nor grateful that people acknowledge my expertise and skills, but I seriously think I should focus more on what I am doing. I really want to complete my study on time but how on earth can  I do that if things keep coming in to my way?? I have planned ahead. I have planned how my December weekends will look like but things just got very messy. I really need my days/weekends to myself for my readings... I seriously thought I could submit my proposal by this december but it looks like it would never be a reality. NEVER.

Friends... And colleagues. Those who are actually sharing similar shoes as mine, would definitely understand what I am going through now. But the sad thing is, majority are not wearing the shoes thus they do not really understand my condition and result, I kinda be the bad person for keep on turning down people's invitation for what-so-ever thingy. 

Last but not least, at this very moment, I don't think I need any extra drama.. Any memories to re-enter my present life. No I do not need that. So please, do not ever try to bring up the past. Just do not. I do not want to be the person who is going to say harsh words which it might end this what-ever-ship we have. Respect my decision to mind my own business and please respect the distance I have created years ago. I enjoy your company and stories but with limits. Do not say and assume something just because you think you know me when clearly you never knew me. 

Gahhh... Here you go blog. Sorry for all these negativity words. Too much going on currently and yes, this blog is meant for me to say things I can't say it elsewhere and to anyone..

Til my next post.

Without wax,

ps: I enjoyed Ho Chi Mihn City very much. Definitely would wanna go there again. Great food. Great ambient.

Bajet DuaRibuEnamBelas~

Monday, October 26, 2015


Dearest blog. It has been a very tiring week for as i had to be in places so i had to travel back and forth. Result to that, i have many work pending which i really should focus in getting those done but here i am typing an entry.

Look at the title above. I was in front of the telly when the PM announced the budget. There were things that i can say, i'd agree on but there are things that i am not. For instance, they cut down an amount of rm2.6 billion on education fund.. I think that one is ridiculous. But after 10minutes of thinking, i think that is quite reasonable. Perhaps it will motivate and encourage us all to work harder. I don't always agree that we should always serve the rakyat. once in awhile, the gov has to educate the rakyat to start to be independent and not highly depending on others most of the time. I know it would definitely be difficult for them and obviously many will hate the gov, but at some point i am sure they will thank the gov.. I just hope what i wish and instinct will eventually come true. Never the less, lets just pray nothing but the best for Malaysia.

I have more than just a paragraph in my head, but i don't think i would want to spend the minutes typing here. i'll write soon.

Without wax,


Not on Online, But Yes in Real Life..~

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Hey bloggie.

Welcome October. Seriously i think, 2015 flies way too fast. I could still remember last October, i was busy trying to get my proposal done to apply for my PhD. And all of sudden, it is already past a year. AT the current state, i am still in the middle of trying to get my real proposal done.After almost a year in this journey, yet still everything is still blurry. Stressful but what more can i expect. I still have limitations here and there. Plus, with the migraine attacks. Not to forget, gangguan setan as well.

Moving on, lets go back to the title. I had this one fb friend whom i think she loved to stalk my wall and spread my stories in her own version. Means, what she said is completely not as to what i actually went thru. For months i remained silent and kept quiet. Then all of sudden, i decided to pull of the plug. Not only i unfriended her, i blocked her as well. After almost 7 months, i removed her from my block list. Yet still do not feel like adding her again. Boy i had the best 7 months of my life. Kalau tau begini punya bahagia, dari 2012 kita react macam ni.. Hehehe..

Such a relief...

Never the less, personally, i don't hate her. I still talk to her. But of cos, i limit my words and only speak occasionally. To actually have a chat with like the old days, is definitely won't happen again. She had caused me enough. I think, she did notice my actions as she started to say "hi" to me whenever we bump into each other which she did not before and while i was blocking her.

Takapalah.. Whatever that makes her happy.. I am happier living in my own small nut shell. Less people, less hearts to please and definitely less drama.

Without wax,


Latest Edition..~

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Hey bloggie..

I know months ago i have purchased great amount of books but still i have not touch any of it yet. Because i still have not finished whatever books i purchased the year before. Not that i dont read any, just the numbers are too huge. Hahah..

So hubs kind of forbid me from purchasing any book but MPH hold a great book fair and the book i wanted to buy ages ago was sold cheap. Dari rm99.90 ke rm50++ then rm36.90. During the sale, MPH gave 50% off for the book so i managed to purchased it rm18.50 only!! Oh by the way, not that they cut the price from rm99 to rm36, the publisher reprinted the book in smaller non-thick cover version. That was the reason why it gets cheaper.

Anyway, here is the book...

In his international blockbusters The Da Vinci Code,Angels & Demons, and The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown masterfully fused history, art, codes, and symbols. In this riveting new thriller, Brown returns to his element and has crafted his highest-stakes novel to date.

In the heart of Italy, Harvard professor of symbology Robert Langdon is drawn into a harrowing world centered on one of history’s most enduring and mysterious literary masterpieces . . . Dante’s Inferno.

Against this backdrop, Langdon battles a chilling adversary and grapples with an ingenious riddle that pulls him into a landscape of classic art, secret passageways, and futuristic science. Drawing from Dante’s dark epic poem, Langdon races to find answers and decide whom to trust . . . before the world is irrevocably altered.

I really can't wait to read this book but i know i have to put on hold. Because i have this one habit of first in - first out. Means i need to finish off the older books first. But i dont really have the time to read because i need to divide my time with work-study-books-games. People might suggest that i should read the books and stop playing games. But my argument is, My work requires me to read.. My study requires me to read. And to ask me to read another thing would definitely be a wrong suggestion. No can do..

Anyhow, til my next update. I am trying to finish my Adult Learning's assignments and start on my super pending psychology assignments.Once my CIED class ends, i should really focus more on my PhD. I have emailed her my progress yesterday and she agreed to meet me this Friday. I really hope i can do my DRP by end of this year.. Or at least before the next semester starts in March.

Til my next update.

Without wax.


48 Hours...~

Dear blog,

You know, being away from everyone sometimes leave you with minimum activities to do when you are at home. Television is no longer a great companion. The more you watch, the more empty and lonely you feel (or maybe it is only applicable to me). Thus, the next best thing is to read.. But constantly reading books sometimes will drive me up to the wall. Because of the endless pages (i keep on purchasing super thick books just to make the purchase worth but end up i feel bored - althou i love to read. Maybe that's what happen when you know you are lonely). So i spent hours on FB. Scrolling the TL and read people's comment. Quite fine because i can feel the time past faster than usual. Sedar-sedar je "eh dah malam".. However, i kept on feeling annoyed and irritated with some of the comments/posts especially when it regards to politics. 

I know people have their own views and this is a free country that somehow encourages its citizens to speak freely. BUT, i wonder why can't they use proper words, more decent words in describing something? Bashing and keep on using harsh words will never change things to the better. It will definitely worsen things because it sparks the fight.Due to that, i decided to log out from FB and it has been 48 hours since. I feel better and more compose. (Aku pun kurang tambah dosa maki dalam hati).

With me living life with no FB, i spent my hours playing games. And now, i wonder how long can i play the games before it starts to annoy me.. I seriously have lot of works to do but be at the office from 8am-6pm  (sometimes 7pm) already drain all my energy. To continue doing the same thing at home just way too much..

Guess what, it is only gonna be my second night alone. Had people with me for the past 2 months. I should start loving the new home. Or else forever i'll feel misery..

Til my next post.

Without wax,


I got my furniture..~

Friday, August 28, 2015

Hello dearest blog..

Referring to my previous post with me mentioning about needed to save up so i can purchase my new sofa. Well guess what?.. Last weekend hubs and i went to a place where lots of furniture stores are located. So we crashed one outlet and they offered great price for a 3-seater sofa and 2 wing chairs. And, without further thinking and analysing, we grabbed it. We kind of fell in love with the dining table as well (had to say no with Ikea's because they offered us so much cheaper).. But the owner just had to confirm with us about the availability of the table on the next day.

The next day, we gave the owner a call and he told us that if we insist of wanting the dining table set, we really have to wait. being me, no i can't wait. We went to that area again and go to the next store. We liked this one set but unfortunately it only comes with 4 chairs. And we wanted 8 chairs. So we purchased the next best thing with rm100 cheaper than what the first shop offered. Similar with what we wanted at the first shop but of course the first shop offered better design (for the 8 chairs, i meant). 

Today, the sofa guy called and informed us that items are ready and we gave the dining's a call, they also said that they are ready. Since the items are needed to be delivered to melaka, now the hubs must start to set time and date with his friend who is going to transport the items back to our home. Most prolly either on monday noon or tuesday morning, those items will arrive at their new home.. And i am so frigging excited, Heheh~

Til my next update.

Without wax,


Mid August Crisis..~

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Hello dearest blog.

The 20th day of August today it is. A month plus after we have moved into our very home and the house is still is not done yet. That's what happened when you have rm10k short. I can say the house is 90% minus sofa and few wall decorations. Other than, we are good to go.

Frankly, we HAD the budget at first but spent rm5k EXTRA on our kitchen cabinet due wanting it to be done ASAP. If just continue on waiting until SEPTEMBER, we could have save up the cash and will only be rm5k low in our total budget. Orang gopoh memang rugi. Actually, the whole reason for me wanting things to be done quickly not because i can't wait. Obviously i can. Cuma once the semester starts, i can't take leaves thus i can't be at home while the fixing the cabinet is being done. That's the whole reason and basically the main reason.

As for now, i am waiting for the right time to purchase my dining table as the table set is in KL, and for the TM people to come over to install the internet. Last but not least, once our save is stable enough, we are gonna purchase our sofa set. Nothing fancy, nothing awesome.. Just some simple set to replace our rm650 sofa set that we purchased 3 & 1/2 years ago which by the way is still in 6/10 good condition.. Hiks...~

Next project will definitely to save up for my conference fee and vietnam's trip. Taking my students to vietnam in november. Although it's work but it is not covered by our management. Memang sah2 kami berkhidmat untuk rakyat. And betullah kata orang. tugas guru ni mulia. Lol..~

Last but not least, early of August (1-4), we went to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. My treat for the parents and hubs. I went there last year and i fell in love with it and decided to bring the loved ones there. 2 aunts and an uncle went with us as well. The whole trip was great and fine but we experienced some drama situation sikit when our van failed to climb the hills which result to that, everyone went panic except for my hubs. Praise to HIM, we reached KL safe and sound. A memorable trip. I brought my parents to Langkawi last year and as for next year, i was thinking of bringing them to Labuan or Ipoh. Never explored Ipoh before and i never been to Labuan as well.. Hope all plan will go well for me and family, In sya Allah.

Til my next update.

Without wax.


Our own crib, finally 💃💃💃💃💃

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Dearest blog.

Last month on the 27th, we have received the keys to our own home. Finally the long waits has ended. We finally have our very first asset. What made it even more special was, 27th june was my birthday. What a great day, indeed. Thus we were very busy on every weekend getting our home done, tidying up the house, moved in and bla bla bla.. We did everything by ourselves. Slowly we managed to get things done. 

Friends did offer their helps but we thought we should not burden others since its the holy month. Takut orang letih. Obviously we can handle the tiredness as it is our home. So, apa da hal??? Heheh...Officially moved in on the 13th of july. 4 days before eid. Yup, we were that crazy.. Remember my previous post? About me saying how busy i am gonna get? Itu cerita sebelum dapat tahunakan dapat kunci rumah. Imagine how my fasting month like after we received the keys?? Hahaha.. Sumpah penat nak gila.

There was one night, i actually create a drama of wanting go sleep badly though we were at a restaurant having our sahur at that time. Kesian sang suami but Alhamdulillah, he understood my situation perfectly.

Today, 29th of july.... 16 days after we have moved in... I still could not believe that we have a house.. Hahahahaha...

Til my next post.

Without wax


It is going to be a tiring Ramadhan...~

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Hello dearest blog..

Apologize for the previous post. I was so dramatic and worried over nothing.. But to tell the truth, i am glad that i posted such a thing as it "drag" and pull me closer to HIM. I believe, HE loves me and misses me thus HE created such feelings so i would come closer to him. 

Back to the title of today's post. Yes i am indeed very busy and it is going to be a hectic month (ramadhan). First, i kind of promise myself to start progress on my paper. At the same time, i have to commit with THE conference as my SV requested me to. With she herself being the chairperson, would i dare to say NO? Of course not. So i spent weeks in getting the paper done. Submitted and resubmitted. I just hope, they won't ask me to amend it for the third time. I just do not know how to paraphrase everything without including the words from the sources. Come on, it is language and can we change the language? Obviously not. Memanglah akan ada similarity.. Haihhhh..

Thirdly, the final examination-week starts tomorrow and i am going to receive my first bundle tomorrow. So i spent my hours today getting all the carry marks done and posted. Phewwww.. Put the blame on the long weekend i had recently.. I did not do anything while i was in KL. Seriously nothing. Spent my days with family and hubby as i did not go back often last month and due to workloads and commitments, i won't be able to go back this month either.. Until few days before raya.

Fourth, at the same time.. Now is the week of viva. Hence, i have to sacrifice my rest time to advice my students and read their works. Ya rabbi.. Not that i am complaining but seriously.. Does everything has to happen at the same time? If only they could get things done ASAP, i wont be having this headache and i myself do not have to struggle this much. 

To cherry the cake, i am going to invigilate 5 times this time around and hey there will be no break because they place one person in one classroom. Thus, we can't take turns to rest. Thanks to the pentadbiran for being so empathy and nice to us. 

Ok, that is all for now.. This is me not complaining but trying to express the feelings i have bottled up so i won't be too stress up and explode. Hahah..

Til my next update.

Without wax;


Days before Ramadhan~

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Ramadhan is just 2 days away. The month that we all have been waiting for. I always look forward ramadhan and only GOD knows, this time around i feel a little happier as compared to previous years. I really look forward. And i could not be thankful enough that i am still alive and breathing. Kadang - kadang rasa, masa kita dah sampai. I always think about death these days. Would my day is just around the corner and would this ramadhan be my last ramadhan? 
I feel like crying while typing this. Updated a status on fb few days ago and deleted it because i do not want others to think that i just want to seek for attention though i was about to cry at that time. Hari2 aku fikir, masa aku dah tiba and the fact that i had weird dreams for 2 nights in a row makes me feel even worse and more scare. What if i die in few more minutes.. What if i die alone here while everyone is back home in kl? What if? Would people able to notice that i am gone?

Hubs does not really understand what i am currently feeling. Or perhaps he does but he just trying to remain positive. For the first time, I am not looking for anything in days to come. I just want to treasure my current moment and embrace my minutes..

Well blog.. I had no intention to type all these hours ago and was why i let the page stay idled and only started to type this minutes ago. Just would want to let you know, if anything ever happen to me.. I just want the whole world to know that i love my parents too much...

Without wax,


I need all the motivation in the world..~

Monday, June 15, 2015

How do i begin this entry with?

I am trying so hard not to whine or complain as i always believe, the more you complain the more difficult the task would get. However, trying to be positive all by yourselves also is not an easy task to do. You need to be surrounded with good ambient and environment. Be in moderate society, i think we still can handle it.. Pretty much, yes we can.. But poor infrastructure and facilities really do stop me from moving ahead. Or is this could be just another excuse create by me, trying not to feel guilt, maybe.. Lol..

Anyhow, this is what i am currently facing;

1. Poor office condition. To be specific, we are practically suffocated here due to bad air circulation. In short, no air conditioner and the windows are designed in such a way that we can open them. Thank you.
2. Sharing a room with 8 others is just not proper for a slow learner like me to focus on typing and narrating. Considering my academic writing is bad and my english is pretty bad as well.
3. I have yet to have my own PC back home. Which that stops me from doing my study work. I should be doing my study paper at home and not at the office.
4. I am constantly sleepy for the past few days. Gila faktor penuaankah ini?

To keep me going on is by keep on thinking of my parents. I really want to make them feel proud of me. I really do. And it would be a lie if i say i didn't do all these for money. By having the qualification, it allows me to travel extra milestone and gain a little bit more than what ever i have now.

To shorten this entry; dearest self.. Please keep going. Please get things done. Please never take a break for too long. Or else, you will be stuck here forever.

Without wax


Smiles to hide my real feelings..~

Sunday, June 14, 2015

At this particular time, the thing i need the most would be the keys to my own home. I need the keys very badly. Without them, i can't possibly have my own library or office to start my write ups. I am a student, for GOD's sake. I need my space to study.. A proper place for me to sit and read and type. I can't get my paper done at my office because of the ambient just is not right for me and not to forget, the noise.

For whatever reasons, i still do not understand why people have to speak loudly. Pekak ke? Whatever that makes them feel comfortable, lantaklah situ. What i am concern about is when will i be getting my frigging keys??? I purposely did not equip my current house with the items i need because i was suppose to move into my new home last year! It is almost 10months after the "supposed date" and i am still paying my rent.

I really need my space. A comfortable one. Me alone. All by myself. Because yes this journey is a lonely journey not by choice, it is just how it is suppose to be. We could never get our things done if we are surrounded (physically) by others. Tak tekeluar ayat nak karang nanti woi.

What a waste of weekend. Babai 13&14 june. Rugi.. Rugi..

Til my next update.

Without wax,

Getting my Conceptual Done..~

Monday, June 8, 2015

Hey there blog.

Currently i am in the midst of getting my conceptual paper done. Been trying hard to obtain all those related journal prepared by all those ancient gurus. Unfortunately for me, majority of it are just hard to be retrieved. Not sure here in Malaysia or just this university or this campus. Thankfully i have a very thotful and helpful friend in Warrick. She's helping me out now. Could not thank her enough. Appreciate all the effort done by her. I just thank her enough.

At this time, i am not really sure whether i am on track or i am so far from it. Tebabas or tekeluar landasan. If you ask me, i would be proudly say that i am definitely on track. But if you look at my "artwork" we both know, i am so far from it. Nevertheless, i am glad that at least i had the time to actually read and type something although only GOD knows if the thing i done is correct or merely "syok sendiri". 

Back to personal matter. I had a busy week. Monday & tuesday i did my paper. On wednesday, i had to attend a course and left my office around 5pm and drove back to ttdi. On thursday morning dropped my mom off at klia2 and back in melaka with ayah and went to Oceanarium and others. Friday, stuck in my office for whole day and yes i was alone.. Practically alone in this building. Pity me but i was satisfied. On weekend, drove to jb with ayah and hubs. As for tomorrow, i will be driving back to kl to fetch mom and be in shah alam on wednesday. Once my business done in shah alam, i have to be back in melaka immediately. Hopefully GOD will grant me with good health and able to focus on things i am doing and guide me to be great in time management.

Gahhh... See tiring days for me, right? But i am ok with it. Happy to make people around me happy.. Not sure either they really are or what, but i do hope that they do..~

Til my next update..~


Block and Unblock..~

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Dearest blog..

Life has been pretty "entiti" lately and not to forget, i had been occupied with classes, trips and entertaining guests at home.. Also had to attend weekend classes plus went here and there trying to be human. In short, i was busy, tired and knackered... Always been an "unhuman" myself.

Thou i was busy handling matters and things, still i cannot really focus on my main task.. My utmost important thing should be done.. Which is, my proposal. I just do not know how to cope with everything and how on earth can i remain sane. Things are just seems to much althou i tried to stay away from taking any responsibility. Benda yang sikit kita amek ni pun dah amek banyak masa dalam hidup kita.. Haiyoo..

I try to remain positive and try to manage my time efficiently, tapi nampak macam tak berhasil. If i read continuosly, i may make my eyes worsen. That is why i need to rest from time to time.. (not to forget, my migraine could attack anytime).. But once i stop to "rest", i tend to do my house chores which at the end, my body will be too tired to continue to read and type. Blergghhhh...

Anyway, back to my title/topic.. Block and unblock.. Have you ever met someone or be friended with someone who have this kind of attitude, Kejap kawan, kejap block you on FB, ig and whatsapp? Like seriously.. I have this one person. This person could block and unblock me whenver this person wants. Out of the blue. Bila dia unblock and request to follow ke apa ke, i would usually ask.. "apahal?" This person would say, "terpaksa".. Oh my god.. Kalau dah banyak kali, kau nak aku kata apa? Frankly speaking, it doesn't affect me.. Tapi aku rasa rimas sangat.. Macam budak - budak.. Nak bla, bla aja.. Ni kejap datang, kejap pergi.. If u ever feel like u do not want to communicate with me, then just don't. Perlu ke kejap block kejap unblock? You have some issue, pal..

First 2 time this person done it to me, i was surprised and wonder what wrong did i do. But eventually bila dah 3 - 4 kali, kita pula terus remove, block dia.. So at least when dia unblock me, dia still could not add me whatever anymore.. That shows how annoyed i am..

So, yeah... That is all for today..


Life Review..~

Friday, April 24, 2015

Sitting at my office desk doing my work and let the playlist shuffles and plays the songs by itself. Songs were from years ago since i have no time to download new songs. Every single song that plays make me have this flashbacks on how my life was and who i was. Things i did great and tremendously well, things i did wrong and not proud of (but of course i had the best time in my life), about people who made me who i am today (which means these people had caused a lot of heartache and pain), people that were and still with me and not to forget about people that i had hurt. Seriously... I hurt too many people.. Too many boys/men.. Truly sorry for that.

For whole my life, parents had taught me to do this "timbang kira" before deciding anything. I mean, they always let me decide things on my own with a message "be responsible with what you will decide and face any consequences that you may cause". So yeah.. Result to that, i always explore the world and build mountain high wall around me. Only let people into my life or know a bit about me once i trust the people or at least feel very comfortable. With that being said, i had (still have) this one habit of turning off people or walk out of people's lives unnoticed. A very bad thing to do, but that is what i always do.Leave people unexplained and let them blame me is a lot easier than to explain myself why i have to move and let them feel they are not good enough to be around me (perasan max here).

Speaking about men/boys.. To be honest, i had hurt almost too many men before i actually chose my husband to be the one. I  had the chance to mingle, evaluate and analyse before i decide who i want to be with. All men were nice, fine, caring, lovable but they were just not good enough to be fit into my life. Everyone would have their own criteria in selecting partner and i am included in that matter as well. Some girls would look into the qualification, money matters, what kind of car they are driving and such. Jujur, amanah, solat and others tu memang syarat wajib, though.

My criteria had been these;
1. Love me more than i love him
2. Can have a long distance relationship
3. Someone i can trust to take care of my parents if anything happen to me or if i am not around
4. Leave me to handle myself
5. Support my decision but tell me if i do wrong
6. Have stable monthly income. No i don't want his money. The stable income is very important so he would always able to give my nafkah. Kalau tak bayar, dia berdosa.
7. Able to communicate with my parents
8. Ringan tulang. Can do things even if i do not tell him to. Especially during kenduri and such.
9. Not a shopaholic because i hate walking in the malls. Leceh.
10. Have sense of humour so we can always have fun and not stuck with stupid and pointless arguments.

I am pretty sure, most girls would have the similar criteria as well but those may not be their priorities whilst me, those are the first things i look in men. Ada degree ke tak ke, tu tak jadi masalah. Kalau ada, ok.. Tak ada pun tak apa. Benda yang boys selalu fail di mata kita would be, they always take me to the malls as if i always have things to buy. And always stick around me way too much like i am a 3 years old girl that need protection. Rimas wehy. Or become too romantic that made them feel that i need flowers and fine dining all the time. Drive around and everywhere. Come one, i wanted a BF at that time and not a driver.

To shorthen the long story, i had only 3 boyfriends (include hubs) in my life. I trusted them. But of course shit happened between me and the other 2. Nak but macam mana. Sorang tu tak tau kat mana. The other one is still be friends with my husband. Which is good and fine. I don't really know what happens to him currently. I never ask hubs about him and he rarely speaks about him too. Melainkan macam kalau kita tanya "siapa ada lepak sama tadi?".. And hubs might mentioned his name too. lain - lain tak da. About the rest of the boys, i really don't know what happened to them. I think everyone is happily married now. Except for one or two. Still remain in touch with two of them, where one of them always around me and hubs. We lepak together from time to time. The other one, memang tak ada jumpa but he will text me once in a blue moon tanya khabar, and u know who he is.

If you ask me, i feel bad for how i treated some of them. I mean, i should not have walked out unnoticed. Mungkin patut still be friends ke apa ke. But being me, hate to respond to texts and such akan buat kita rimas bila org text (see i am not that typical girl who jumps around when receive messages from people. menyampah lagi ada). But on the bright side, some of them are doing extremely well. Dah drive audi bagai kan. Because for some reasons, they think they were not rich enough to be with me and so they try to prove to me that they can do well. Orang yang selalu ingat kita kaya dan materialistic adalah orang yang akan direject immediately. haha..

Ok.. Anyway, my whole point of typing this because just to tell the world that i have a great memory which means i can still remember everything that i had done in the past. Ada yang baik dan ada yang tidak. But i have no regret to any of it because those things had shaped and mould the person i am today. I am very much mature now because of the wrongdoings i did to people even though those things were not that bad either, but still i feel guilty. Untuk yang menyakitkan hati kita yang overly much sampai buat kita rasa useless pun ada juga but lets just say, what you did made me become a calmer person and cold hearted at the same time. Tak sure elok ke tak. Tapi itulah hakikatnya. 

I used to be very friendly, bubbly and empathy. Sekarang after everything, kita jadi, lantak korang lah nak buat pa pun. Hahah.. Ada pro and con. Pro is, i have less drama in lives when i stop mingle around. Con is, i don't know what is currently happening around me. Haha.. Selalu tertinggal bus, tau.. Lol~

Anyway, my advice to all girls out there.. You can either use my way in finding the one (Provided they approach you. Awak jangan menggatal pergi approach dorang). Be friends with a lot of people and start to check who will make you feel comfortable and let you be yourself all the time, Or another option is, just stay put (make yourself look presentable at all times, rupa dan perangai) and just wait for the prince to come. Jodoh itu pasti :')

Apalah kita membebel hari ni..


Fast & Furious 7

Thursday, April 23, 2015

I watched this movie about 3 weeks ago. The whole time i was in the theatre, i just could noy feeling sorry and sad for Paul Walker. Funny. I don't know him in person at all but somehow i know he was a good man. Started to follow his career when i saw him on Varsity Blues then on She's All That. Funny feeling.. To feel sad for a person that you never met, is funny.. But i guess that's human. You will have this empathy and sympathy feeling towards another human being. Well, i hope i would get to watch his final completed movie soon. I can't really recall the title but surely i will watch it.

Til my next update


Happy World Book Day~

Hello blog.

It has been awhile since i last updated you. I had been not that busy but just had too many things in hands which it drained my energy.. Somehow i was just too stressful with my surroundings because everything was just too much to take. To make my life be a wee bit happy and calm, i just do what i think it is necessary to do. Which means means to ignore my surroundings and go on doing the things i like. Which are to read books and eat whatever i feel like eating.

Anyway, yesterday the world celebrated its birthday and today, we are kind of celebrating World Book Day. I never knew we had these kind of days all these years. Tetiba ada hari susu, hari kopi.. Hehe.. Those "days" kind of spicing up our lives, ain't it?.. 

Here is a shout out to those who love books just like me..


This is my current reading,

The Los Angeles Times calls him "a master of the intelligent thriller." Now blockbuster author Nelson DeMille brings back John Corey, the hero of his #1 New York Times bestseller Plum Island, in an epic story of breathless pace, heart-pounding suspense, and chilling fear... 


From a special observation post in New York's JFK Airport, members of the elite Anti-Terrorist Task Force wait for a passenger arriving from Paris: an alleged Libyan terrorist known as "the Lion," who is defecting to the West. Everything is going as planned; Flight 175 with its hundreds of passengers, including the Libyan and his CIA and FBI escorts, is right on schedule. Yet it soon becomes apparent that something is horribly, eerily wrong. And that the affair of Flight 175 is only a prelude to the terror that is to follow...

John Corey, having survived three bullet wounds on the NYPD, knows that he's used up his allotment of good luck. Nevertheless, he signs on as a contract agent with the Federal government's Anti-Terrorist Task Force, working in the high-pressure Mideast section. Kate Mayfield is John's senior in rank and junior in age--a bad combination for both of them. Even so, she is able to hold her own against John's brash style, his contempt for Federal agents, and his obsession with doing everything his way.

As a bloody trail of terror streaks across the country, John and Kate soon learn that their quarry is more than a man; he has the instincts of a wild animal, the blood lust of a carnivore, and the boldness and speed of a cat of prey. The cunning, violence, and ruthlessness that Corey encounters are like nothing he has ever experienced before, even on the streets of New York. Until this assignment, Corey has always been lucky in dodging the fatal bullet. But luck, as he's learned on the streets, at the gambling table, and in love, always runs out. To survive in a new game with no rules at all, he must invent a strategy that includes no luck at all...

More than ever before, Nelson DeMille presents vivid, fully fleshed characters and delivers the signature plot twists and sardonic humor his readers have come to expect. THE LION'S GAME is truly a DeMille to remember.

Above, i shared the book summary. I have not finished yet but what i can share is, i like the plots and how it is written. Kind of full of surprises elements though of course, it is expected but some of it, i did not expect it would too soon. I am enjoying my current book now. Though i don't really have time to read as much as i had the time before. Less than 50 pages a day, frustrating but nevermind.. Better slow than never touch a book. The book has 850pages. Thick and entertaining book :')

Til my next post.


Never test my patience..~

Friday, March 13, 2015

Never ever test my patience darlings. I know i am always smile, quiet and hardly respond to anything. But never take it for granted because u would never know that i might just snap and burn you to death. So please stop before i say or do something that will make YOU regret... Again, YOU and not me. 

Being older than me, you should behave wiser than me. Not the other way around. Cursing people (who are wayyyyyy younger than you) just show how stupid you are. How immature you are.. Though it were not meant for me, but still... What u did and said were wrong.. Senang cerita, memang bangang lagi bodoh sangat tindakan kau!!


Been gone for far too long..~

Friday, February 13, 2015

Hello dearest blog of mine.

I had been very busy for the past 8 weeks due to final examination, short vacation with hubs and was here and there attending meetings and workshops. Also, managed to finish a book and finishing another one but i don't think have enough time to finish the current reading because i have to get started on writing my proposal and at the same time i need to prepare my teaching materials. The new semester is starting in two weeks time and i am going to lecture 3 different subjects. Seriously, i am going to be very busy for the next few months. 

I am not here to complain, but just want to express my concerns.. Takut kalau tak mampu nak deliver and carry everything at the same time. Fuhhhhh.. Apa pun, i believe ALLAH won't give me all these if HE knows that i can't handle those. So if HE believes in me, why should i disappoint him? Kan? So yeah, i will try my very best to do everything.. Bit by bit.. Pelan pelan kayuh... Insya Allah... All i need is endless support from my other half which i know he won't stop from giving any...

Anyway, here are the books i mentioned earlier.. Kindly google for the synopsis because my hands are actually tied doing something else now...

If you ask me, the books are not really suitable for those who are 18 and below. I mean, i know they prolly say that are mature enough but frankly speaking, from islam perspective i highly discourage them to read. Nevertheless, both books teach me to be a tougher woman, mentally and emotionally...

That's all for now..