Thursday, February 18, 2016

Hello dear blog..~

Many many years ago, when social network was still an alien to many of us (including myself), blogging was a hit. Almost everyone had an account and people will post an entry a day. Talking about crap, about what they had been up to, about their social lives and relationships too. I was indeed one of them. Back in 2008 when i still refused to sign up for a facebook account, blogging was actually part of my life. Even if i didn't post anything, i would still do blog walking. Go one blog after another just bt clicking the "next" button or be a silent big fan to certain blogs, in other word "stalker". Lol.

But look at me now. I don't post much and even if i do, the entries are meaningless and as if i am repeating myself. Not like i do not enjoy myself because i have been to many places which i think i should share with people but somehow, i feel writing long personal essays is not me anymore. Or perhaps, i have been spending too much time on the computer doing my office work and papers til, posting on blogs is not a priority anymore.

I can't really say that i have shifted to facebook or instagram. Though i do post pictures (continuously) but i do not really explain things in detail like what i did in the past on my blog. Though people say "a picture worth a thousand words" but believe me, those are just meaningless words. You can't really expect people to understand things the way you want them to. At this point, i really can't state what i have in mind. See how sucks my writing these days?

Well, anyhow.. I really think i should get my hands on blogging again. Blogging helps me actually. To nag, to rampant, merempan without hurting anyone (directly). Because usually, after i posted any angry post i would feel much better. Macam dah lepas marah w/o yelling at anyone's face. So yeah.. I should blog again.

I will start posting again real soon. About food. About places i have been to. About books. About my trips and holidays. Semoga aku istiqomah..~

Til my next post. I hope it will be next week after i am back from Krabi ☺

Without wax,

This little feeling..~

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Hello dearest blog..

Have you ever feeling so anxious and nervous as if like your time is very limited and you still have many things to do? Or nervous like you know you will be getting something big at the end of the month and so you just can't wait? And you really want the whole world to know but at the same time you think they should not just yet? Oh seriously.. That is exactly what i am feeling right now.

I have this proposal that I promise myself that I will get it done by 5th February but of course I failed. I had too many things going on and sometimes things i searched for were just hard to be found. And of course, I spent uncountable time playing games and gardening. Haha.. Guilty and yes gardening (clear my tiny land) is actually my current hobby. Or perhaps, that so called gardening is actually a calming activity or process after  long day at work.

Next, if last year I was anxious in getting my house key, this year I am anxious over something similar. According to him, I'll be getting it by at the end of this month but I am not putting a high hope. Because of that, I refuse to share the news with others yet. I just need to wait for it to actually be mine before I break the news.

Speaking about the two things above.. Have you ever had friends that they easily get what they want? I mean, things are always easy for them. Financially, study, life flow, work or anything else. But lets just focus on dollar and cents because normally when you have those, things will eventually be easier for you. I actually have friends that you can see they always wander around. As in travel around. Then, purchasing all those discretionary items like nobody's business. Who would not feel envy of that? I would.. 

I work my butts off to have I have now (which obviously not even close to what they have), but some people can easily make claims that I had an easy ride. Well perhaps my overly lucky friends did work hard as well, but even they did... They came from extraordinary rich families. They practically born in silver spoon. Back to my story.. I worked really hard. Not as in work extra hours to get extra pay.. Because I work like 16 hours a day and for the past 4 years, I still receive the same amount of salary except for the annual increment. Anyhow, I worked hard by watch my expenses and spending behaviour. I try not to pamper myself although I know I am capable in doing it.

But, I chose not to overspend. So I can have extra saves and so I can use the money for something more important. Like buy things for my home last year in cash, take my parents on holiday, at least one abroad trip a year with hubsy and able to pay any adhoc/sudden commitment like kereta rosak and such.. People did not see how much I stop myself. But they only see how much I spend and start to speculate things. The little conversation they have is really disturbing. Wonder how can they have so much time to gossip when I practically bersilat trying to finish things in time.

So, I would conclude my post today by saying I feel nervous and not wanting to share because a I think it is not the right time yet but when people see what I have, the talking begins as they only talk about what they think they know but not what is the truth, the pain behind the glory and achievement.

Til my next post